HACKED TO PIECES: Edition TWO





Edition Two
INSIDE THE HCF HEADQUARTERS

Hello regular readers!  Is it the second week already!  How are you doing?  Ok that question made me sound like Joey from Friends and if I could actually hear that answer then that means I have some sort of Carrie type powers so please, keep that pig blood away from me!

Its been a crazy start to life at the HCF Headquarters.  This week we finally saw two of our staff finally get off their backsides and show their quality.  Darren has written his first Column piece,well the longest introduction you could ever read, while David showed the staff really what he thinks of us with some drawings.  Have not seen them both?  Well just go to the Homepage, click onto either Shadow Lands or Meet The Team to see their work in all its glory.

Also a huge thank you once again to Gerard Lough who was brave enough to let our very own Matt Wavish ask him a few questions.  The amazing interview of this talented up and coming director can be again seen on our Home Page!

We are a man short this week, with our very own evil Bill taking a nice break to Disneyland.  We are awaiting for news of a mad man attacking Mickey in front of a bunch of kids and hope with fingers crossed its not our very own king of evil!

This week the big films we will be reviewing is The Eagle, Unstoppable, Wake Wood, Sucker Punch and Source Code!  While keeping our promises to look for the lesser known titles.  We be introducing the some new sections on the official HCF Review site, with Cult TV and HCF Preview all getting their beginnings.  Cult TV will be looking at the the season finale of V and also of the much loved Quantum Leap, while I personally will be looking at the upcoming Apollo 18 which is not a sequel to that Tom Hanks film.  Also in the HCF Rewind there is a Blair Witch look back and also later in the week, Cloverfield is getting a dust down from our very own site Dr!  Finally but not least, check over our “Rules Of A Horror Film!”, and join in the fun…..our very own Bat is in need of help and only you can help!

All our main features that we hope you are growing to love is all there with updates and we like to thank all those who signed up on Facebook, its you support that gives us the confidence to keep up the hard work!

 WHY THE SUSPIRIA RE-MAKE IDEA IS THE WORST OF THEM ALL – WELL SINCE PSYCHO!

The most baffling quote I have had to write this week is from a Mr Luca Guadagnino who is behind the planned Suspiria re-make.  When asked about the film this is what he had to say, “The concept will encompass cinema, video games, fashion and music that will revive the original version and also include a psychological element to the film that was not there in the original.”  Oh ok then, here is yet someone else totally not getting a film that has stood the test of time and remains one of horror’s greatest master-pieces in the genre!

Let me be honest, I am not a huge fanatic of the Dario Argento film, I love it,  but it won’t be in my top five of best horrors.  That is not a negative comment towards the film, but it does not hold such high esteem in my collection along side the likes of say Halloween!  It would be in my top 20, but I get more of a kick out of watching young virgins getting slaughtered around a camp fire than the colourful dream scope that Suspiria offers.

But this is where the problem comes!  And its a big one!

When I was told they were re-making Halloween, I spat blood!  What was the point of making a film that was already a classic?  But then, I have to be honest, they have been remaking Halloween for years.  Each sequel was a sort of spin on the original, even H20 was nothing but a modern update, a fresh spin for the newly required Scream crowd!  But then its easy to re-make a simple concept of a masked man, killing teens.  Anyone who thinks that the horrid Halloween 2 sequel by Mr Zombie has forever killed the franchise are totally wrong!  Myers is to popular to be put to bed, same goes with Jason and Freddy who no matter what will have further adventures to share, simply because the dumb horror crowd can not get enough of them!  I am not calling the fans of these franchise stupid by the way, regular readers will know of my undying love for Halloween, and no matter what, even if we reach Halloween 35-The Night He Reached 89 Years Of Age- I be the first in line!  Why?  Because we would only moan and complain if they did not make any more.  Those trio along with Dracula, Frankenstein and The Wolf Man, are horror stables that will forever be in the genre!  There are fans that want to see them on screen, look at the recent Hellraiser with the new Pinhead!  A massive uproar but still fans are queuing to watch!

They wont be though for Suspiria!

Like the Psycho re-make, its wrong on every level of sense!  Why?  Because Suspiria is one of those horrors that are untouchable!  It was born at a perfect time when Italian horror was reaching its pinacle.  When you think of Gallo, Suspiria jumps straight into the mind,  an age when you could not wait to get it on VHS and then hold on to it so tight that even now, its still there amongst your DVD collection, old and tatty, the cover probably ripped, but memoires loom large over its domain!

Suspiria was also right for that time in movie land, now it seems redundant!  What would this day of age fans want to see? an horror about ballet that at times is so confusing that it makes you question your own sanity or say Final Destination 10 -Death’s Back!, where stupid teens again get slaughter in glorious 3D.  The box-office records that showed the Halloween 2 re-make being smacked in the face by the 4th Destination film shows that in today’s market, fans just want dumb action!

Also, want new could a re-make bring to the new concept!  Gus Van Saint’s Psycho is the pinnacle of bad horror re-makes, simply because its worthless for its exsistence!  So what if its filmed in colour, Hitchcock himself had this chance but knew way back in the 60’s the film would be more effective in Black and White, and please did the added scene of Vince Vaughan having a wank, really entice the movie into a better place?  Suspiria works because its so European, the colour smacks you and seduces you, why worry about plot when its just a crazy mix going on!   Its destiny in the film world and the reason its considered as Dario Argento’s masterpiece is simply because its a one off.  A film like no other, a re-make which WILL be ripped apart by the new crowd will actually ruin the reputation of the original.

“Oh, that Suspiria is a load of bollocks in it!” they will cry, us older fans will shout “then watch the original!” which the reply be “what’s the point, the re-make is bad enough!”….

Think I am being harsh?  Well just look at that comment up the top, “Video games???, what they are replacing the ballet aspect with a bunch of hackers?, a psychological element?, what? I did not think Suspiria needed one! and now I can add yet a new quote to the mix, are you ready, then brace yourself!…

“We want to tie in the gore-porn crowd and that of an old lady wanting to watch a ballet film!”

Ok then, I can see how that will work??????

Even rumours now abound that Dario himself has approved the re-make.  Well lets make it clear, he has, but only because he feels his original can not be overshadowed!  Which for me is a clue that he thinks its just a stupid idea!

Suspiria has this aura around it that will be fully destroyed, yes do re-make films that have Zombies in ski masks around the camp fire, because that concept works for young and old, but films like Psycho and Suspira work because of the time they were born, an era where getting scared was a lot more easier, by creating a new piece is redundant and stupid and its only a matter of time before Peeping Tom gets a makeover!!!!!

I will be following this story very closely on the News Section!!!!

THE PERILS OF SPLIT TV!

Fringe is back!  Now this would usually fill me with sheer delight and a warm glow right over my body!  Of course what I feel is an emptiness that makes me want to cry into my pillow!  Why? well the stupid decsion to split a season is ruining the show.  Us viewers have had to wait nearly three months for the next episode and when its finally aired, I for one could not remember a damn thing that happened!  All the build up tension has vanished, all the excitement gone into the wind which is a pity because Season three was becoming a really great show with its alt Walter and Olivera, but now it just feels a jumbled mess!  They never done this with 24, a show that relied on its pressure cooker storyline, so why should they with Fringe?

But it seems the BBC has grabbed onto this idea, well in this case Stephen Moffit, the new head writer of all things Doctor Who.  This is a man who has not put a foot wrong since taking over, giving an old TV classic a complete freshness that you can only applaud!  But to spilt the new season into two, with the rumoured six episodes in the Summer and then six more in the Winter, could smack of stupidity.  Doctor Who belongs in the Summer months, a season where its notorious for a lack of quality Telly!.  The Doctor and his Tardis stands out proud and gives the longing viewer something to watch, and there is a thrill when we come to the last episode in July and when the final credit rolls, up pops a caption that states “The Doctor Will Return On Christmas Day In…..” followed by the title which means an endless debate for all Who fans to guess what it could be about!

Also like it or not, from the month of September, TV is X-Factor, a show that you simply can not escape from, a battle that even the great DOC my find himself losing,in the ratings war!……..

ADAMS TO SWEET FOR SUPERMAN

I like Amy Adams!

She was fantastic in Enchanted and she has this lovely sweet image which many find hard not to like!  And its that alone that makes the news this week that she is playing Lois Lane something I could not get my head around!  She seems just too nice to play a hard nosed News Repoter, something which was leveled at Kate Bosworth in Superman Returns.  Many feel that the character of Lois Lane is just there to serve the purpose of being the love interest for the man in tights, but anyone who actually feels the character will know that she is more than this!!   The best person in recent years who has done this character justice is a Miss Erica Durance from the show Smallville.  She has managed to have this dual personality like Mr Supes, in that she can play the sexy minx and also be one hard kick ass!

Adams may be just too nice and innocent for her own good, and I am yet to be convinced that this reboot of a franchise is such a good idea!

WORDS HEARD IN THE HCF OFFICE THIS WEEK! ” “Nah, decks are in the cupboard mate, collecting dust. I just don’t have time for it these days, but every now and again i dig them out, just to have a quick mix”

AND FINALLY!…..Why does seeing Vanessa Hudgens in that sexy outfit from Sucker Punch make me want to watch High School Musical!

Until Next Time………

 

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About Ross Hughes 532 Articles
Since my mother sat me down at the age of five years of age and watched a little called Halloween, I have been hooked on horror. There is no other genre that gets me excited and takes me to the edge of entertainment. I watch everything from old, new, to cheap and blockbusters, but I promise all my readers that I will always give an honest opinion, and I hope whoever reads this review section, will find a film that they too can love as much as I do! Have fun reading, and please DO HAVE NIGHTMARES!!!!!!

3 Comments

  1. Agree with every word you say about Suspiria remake, a perfectly written argument if I may say so. I expect as production progresses on this pointless exercise, I’ll have a real rant too and it won’t be as cleanly worded as yours!

  2. Very sound arguement on Suspiria, you don’t need to hear my thoughts again as i already aired them in my news article about the use of the Goblin soundtrack. I hate the idea, and it gets me all wound up and angry so best i move on!

    Apollo 18 has had its release date pushed back to January 2012 mate, i posted the sad news the other day. Bummer as i was REALLY looking forward to that.

    Oh, and Amy Adams can star in any film she wants, in my humble opinion :mrgreen:

    Finally, thanks for the quote, thats me!!! 😛

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