Dinocroc vs Supergator (2010)
Directed by: Jim Wynorski
Written by: Jim Wynorski, Mike MacLean
Starring: David Carradine, James C. Burns, John Callahan
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEV8Fz7xpYI[/youtube]
Dinocroc VS Supergator (2010)
(15) Running time: 88 mins
Director: Jim Wynorski
Starring: David Carradine, James C. Burns, John Callahan
Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic
You already know what to expect from both the title and the fact this is one of those made for TV movies, usually made for the US SyFy channel. Basically, do not go into this film expecting special effects miracles or script writing any better than you or I could probably do. If you lower your expectations into somewhere in the non-existent category then you just might find plenty to enjoy about a Dinocroc and Supergator face-off. To be fair, it is doubtful you will be watching this unless you are already a fan of films such as Megapiranha or Sharktopus, but if you are new to the cheap and wacky world of these types of films I hope you can find something to like. In all honesty they all have a charm about them, a sense of “we’re gonna do our best with what we have” attitude because what they have are terrible actors, an awful script, music that feels like it should either be in a porn movie or some cheap and nasty fairground ride, special effects that aren’t all that special and hundreds of mistakes.
The plain and simple plot is we are based on an Island and somewhere deep within the jungle are some dodgy scientists looking to create some formula to make humans immune to disease and it will also make them stronger and faster and the plan is to test it on a baby croc and a baby alligator. In seven months they haven’t changed, until now! We get thrown fully into the carnage within seconds as the film opens with the now giant creatures breaking free. Staff run and scream as if some director stood behind a camera was telling them to, you can almost feel them looking at the director as if to say “was that OK?” People get eaten, the Supergator seems to have developed exactly the same roar as the T-Rex from Jurassic Park and the chaps who do get eaten do some sort of bizarre ritual which is evident throughout the film by pretty much every victim. They suddenly stop, whether running full pelt, tripping over or simply crouching or lying down, the majority of this films victims just stop dead and wait for the jaws of the beasts to swallow them up! It is a poor piece of special effects wizardry, but something that will give you endless laughs if you’re in the right mood. Another special effect which gave me a good giggle is the way the camera shakes with each time one of the creatures steps or runs. Anyway, the two beasts break free from the ‘lab’ and wreck havoc on the island eating everyone in sight while David Carradine’s dodgy Jason Drake tries to keep the issue under wraps so not to be caught out. He has a heart condition see, and his sexy nurse tells him to stop drinking and he basically tells her to bugger off. First they call in a team of mercenaries who needed to go to acting school and at least be taught how to make firing a fake gun look real. Their leader speaks with two minutes between words while the rest try to pull off their best Jack Bauer impression and look like children in a school play!
Thankfully the mercenaries meet the monsters and in a comical scene a stand-off happens between Supergator and two of the hired guns. They start by shooting upwards as the monster stands there waving his head around and roaring and the two shooters get tired and their guns lower to the point one of them is pretty much shooting at the floor and then, wait for it, they suddenly stop moving as Supergator chomps down! For a real comical moment you simply have to see their top man throw some C4 at the monster, talk about can’t be bothered! Man, and it gets worse. A couple about to get up to something naughty in a small stream under a waterfall also become victims but there is so much wrong in this scene it should be up there as one of the best worst scenes of the year. For starters the water is barely two feet deep and yet, when the hot girls back is turned “get me a beer babe!” the Dinocroc shoots out of the water, head first to swallow the boyfriend who has, yep you guessed it, suddenly stopped moving! The giant croc is about ten feet tall, so how the Hell did it stay hidden in that shallow water??? Then Supergator arrives and sneaks up on the girl from behind. Sneaks up I said, baring in mind the camera shakes with every step and she can’t even feel it! Boy, then she screams, blimey it is so bad its like your worst nightmare has come true!
There’s no pint saying much more about the wafer thin plot, apart from the fact some Crocodile Dundee special forces guy is called in to hunt the two creatures. His big introductory moment is fantastic! In a hotel pool two girls have lost their dates, one of them clims out of the pool completely dry (go figure!) and then starts to dry herself with a towel (!!!!) and some pervy fella tries to chat her up. Telling the girl “hey lady, you’re in paradise, you need to chill” Along comes Croc fighter and states “you need to cool off” and throws him into the pool! Classic! Anyway, the croc hunter makes his presence known and does his absolute best to try and act the tough guy and he almost pulls it off too, he a decent fella who likes a challenge and doesn’t see chasing two killer monsters as anything more than a bit of fun. God bless him and his cool casual style. The two girls who he saved head off to the jungle for a swim and randomly meet a nature photographer and this gives the film makers their chance to show some flesh as the two girls pose in thier bikini’s, a pleasant reminder that these films try to cram in everything we like to see. We even get to see a embarrassingly badly CGI’d half eaten cow at one point!
We do have to have some drama in the film, and one of the head scientists who seemed against the idea from the start is in hospital telling her story. Getting upset, one of the people there with here orders her to “calm down” which is met with “calm down? Bastard, do you know what that thing did to my brother?” Yes, the script is everything here! Possibly the best example of how bad the script is comes from the Father and Daughter Police chief and deputy team. About to hunt the monsters themselves, they believe its the best time for a good Father and Daughter heart to heart:
Father: “You ready for this?”
Daughter: “I’m your daughter aren’t I?”
Father: “Your damn right you are! I’m lucky to have you. I should tell you this more often but I’m a cranky son of a bitch!”
You can guess what happens to them! Just to up the stakes a little, a bus load of tourists turn up, and as the tourists are off sight seeing, the driver falls asleep in the bus only to be woken up by an approaching Dinocroc who, in one of the films finer moments of badness, bellyflops the bus to squash it! Ah, well at least the Dinocroc didn’t have it as bad as the Supergator who, while chasing the police chiefs daughter in a car, has to do the same movements and roars over and over. Yes, its that all important play the same clip ten times trick to make it look good! Do you get the idea? Yes this film is bad, but as with the majority of these films, its so bad its great!
Rating: 
[pt-filmtitle]Dinocroc vs Supergator[/pt-filmtitle]
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