Cinema Releases: April 2012

Released 6th April:

The Cold Light of Day (12A) Running time: 93 minutes

Director: Mabrouk El Mechri,  Writers: Scott Wiper, John Petro

Starring: Bruce Willis, Henry Cavill, Sigourney Weaver

A young American uncovers a conspiracy during his attempt to save his family, who were kidnapped while on vacation in Spain.

Headhunters (Hodejegerne) (15) Running time: 98 minutes

Director: Morten Tyldum  Writers: Lars Gudmestad, Ulf Ryberg

Starring: Askel Hennie, Synnove Macody Lund, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

An accomplished headhunter risks everything to obtain a valuable painting owned by a former mercenary.

Mirror, Mirror: The Untold Adventures of Snow White (PG) Running time: 106 minutes

Director: Tarsem Singh,  Writers: Jacob Grimm, Wilhelm Grimm, Melissa Wallack, Jason Keller

Starring: Lily Collins, Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer, Sean Bean, Nathan Lane

An evil queen steals control of a kingdom and an exiled princess enlists the help of seven resourceful rebels to win back her birthright.

Titanic 3D (12A) Running time: 194 mins

Director: James Cameron,  Writer: James Cameron

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane

Synopsis: 84 years later, a 100-year-old woman named Rose DeWitt Bukater tells the story to her granddaughter Lizzy Calvert, Brock Lovett, Lewis Bodine, Bobby Buell and Anatoly Mikailavich on the Keldysh about her life set in April 10th 1912, on a ship called Titanic when young Rose boards the departing ship with the upper-class passengers and her mother, Ruth DeWitt Bukater, and her fiancé, Caledon Hockley. Meanwhile, a drifter and artist named Jack Dawson and his best friend Fabrizio De Rossi win third-class tickets to the ship in a game. And she explains the whole story from departure until the death of Titanic on its first and last voyage April 15th, 1912 at 2:20 in the morning.

Released 11th April:

Battleship (12A) Running time: 131 minutes

Director: Peter Berg,  Writer: Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber

Starring: Liam Neeson, Alexander Skarsgard, Brooklyn Decker, Rhiana

A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.

Released 13th April:

The Cabin in the Woods (15)  Running time: 105 mins

Director: Drew Goddard,  Writers: Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Jesse Williams, Kristen Connolly, Fran Kranz, Anna Hutchinson

Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.

Released 20th April:

Elfie Hopkins (18)  Running time: 89 minutes

Director: Ryan Andrews,  Writers: Ryan Andrews, Riyad Barmania

Starring: Ray Winstone, Jaime Winstone, Steven Mackintosh, Kimberley Nixon

Set in a sleepy hunting village, Elfie Hopkins is the story of a 22-year-old slacker and “wanna-be” detective. Elfie is a stoner and an animal lover in a village populated with hunters. Haunted by the death of her mother and surrounded by her broken father and alcoholic step-mother, Elfie seeks solace and inspiration from the old school detectives in The Maltese Falcon and Chinatown. She entertains herself, along with her geeky best friend, Dylan, by investigating the villagers and upsetting everyone with their imaginative allegations. Elfie’s mundane existence is thrown for a spin with the arrival of a family of trendy city dwellers, the Gammons.

The Gammons weave tales of adventure and entice the villagers with offers of exotic hunting holidays around the world. It’s not long before the villagers are flying off to the four corners of the world. Elfie, despite her best efforts, is not immune to the Gammons’ charms but soon smells a rat. Elfie and Dylan snap into detective mode and investigate the Gammons’ life. Blood soon starts to spill in the village, and it’s no longer just the blood of animals. Elfie discovers the villagers are not making those flights, and when she finally uncovers the truth, it’s darker then she could have ever imagined. The Gammons are a family of cannibals!

Gone (15)  Running time: 94 minutes

Director: Heitor Dhalia,  Writer: Allison Burnett

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Jennifer Carpenter, Wes Bentley

Gone centers on a young woman (Seyfried) who returns home from her night shift to find her sister’s bed empty. She is convinced that the serial killer who kidnapped her two years before has come back to finish the job, but when the police do not believe her and with no one to turn to, the woman sets off to find her sister and face her abductor once and for all.

Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai (15)  Running time: 126 mins

Director: Takashi Miike  Writers: Kikumi Yamagishi, Yasuhiko Takiguchi

Starring: Koji Yakusho, Naoto Takenaka, Hikari Mitsushima

An tale of revenge, honor and disgrace, centering on a poverty-stricken samurai who discovers the fate of his ronin son-in-law, setting in motion a tense showdown of vengeance against the house of a feudal lord.

Lockout (15)  Running time: 95 minutes

Director: James Mather, Stephen St Leger,  Writers: Luc Besson, James Mather, Stephen St Leger

Starring: Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Peter Stormare

A man wrongly convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage against the U.S. is offered his freedom if he can rescue the president’s daughter from an outer space prison taken over by violent inmates.

Released 27th April:

The Avengers (12A)  Running time: 142 minutes

Director: Joss Whedon,  Writer: Joss Whedon

Starring: Robert Downey Jnr, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tom Hiddleston

Nick Fury and the international agency S.H.I.E.L.D. bring together a team of super humans to form The Avengers to help save the Earth from Loki & his various membered army.

The Monk (Le Moine) (15) Running time: 101 minutes

Director: Dominik Moll,  Writers: Matthew Lewis, Dominik Moll

Starring: Vincent Cassel, Deborah Francois, Josephine Japy

Madrid, in the seventeenth century. Abandoned at the doorstep of a monastery, Ambrosio has been brought up by the Capucin Friars. After becoming a friar himself, he becomes an unrivaled preacher whose sermons draw crowds and earn him the admiration of all. Admired for his extreme rigor and absolute virtue, Ambrosio is certain he is safe from any temptation. But Satan has not said his final word…

Strippers VS Werewolves (15)  Running time: 93 minutes

Director: Jonathan Glendening,  Writers: Pat Higgins, Phillip Baron

Starring: Robert Englund, Steven Berkoff, Lysette Anthony, Billy Murray, Alan Ford, Barbara Nedeljakova, Martin Kemp, Lucy Pinder

When werewolf chief Jack Ferris is accidentally killed in a strip club the girls who work there have until the next full moon before his bloodthirsty wolfpack seek murderous retribution:

JEANETTE, the club’s careworn owner, believes murdering customers is bad for business, so she orders the club’s bouncer to quietly dispose of the body. And there the matter should end … if Mickey hadn’t been a member of a bloodthirsty and vengeful pack of werewolves.

When Mickey’s corpse surfaces, JACK FERRIS, the werewolves’ charming and vicious leader, swears bloody vengeance and sends his pack out to hunt down the killers. Little does he know, Justice is actually the fiancée of his second in command, SCOTT. To make matters worse, Justice bites Scott during sex and now may be infected with the curse of lycanthropy herself.

Add to the mix werewolf BARKER, the masturbating man-child; SINCLAIR, the occultist with low self-esteem; and a bevy of the most beautiful women this side of heaven and you have the perfect recipe for balls to the wall, frenetic, skimpily clad, strippers on werewolves action-packed goodness.”