Alice in Murderland

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Directed by:
Written by:
Starring: , ,

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNGDoBNGb9s[/youtube]

Alice in Murderland (2010)

(18) Running time: 84 minutes

Director: Dennis Devine

Writer: Dennis Devine

Starring: Malerie Grady, Marlene Mc’Cohen, Kelly Kula

Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic

From the opening shot of a terribly acted murder right through to the end, Alice in Murderland is a painful watch, if you base it on production and acting. Man, some of the worst acting imaginable is on offer here, some terrible camera work and production so bad you have to wonder if the fellas that decided to release this were actually for real. The whole thing feels like a cheap joke, an insult to the horror genre and an insult to the viewer. Or, I could be way off and the maker’s of this actually thought they were making a well crafted horror and that this is actually meant to be serious! Heaven forbid! When I say serious, I mean serious as in a homage to horror serious as there is just way too much stupidity on offer here. I would like to think of Alice in Murderland as a parody on the slasher genre and horror in general, a gentle reminder that horror can be fun and films like this will probably serve the Friday night piss head crowd and give them endless laughs and plenty of teenage-like fantasies. The film is actually presented like a cheap porn! Let me explain…

The acting is of a quality you would associate with porn, the story is there simply to join the dots and not really drive the film, the presentation looks dodgy, and the girls are mostly very very attractive. This is really a bit of a perv –fest as a large group of hot females find an excuse to dress up and tease. After the opening murder we move straight to Alice and her friends and, funnily enough, they are all in bikinis talking about what to do for her birthday. The camera spies on them and lingers over them like an old perverted 60 year old and the decision is to dress up as a favourite, raunchy character from Alice in Wonderland and head to an old building to do God knows what. The girls arrive, there are mini skirts, plenty of knee high socks or suspenders, high heels and low cut tops (listen to me memorising!!) and the girls don’t really do anything. They sit or stand in their hot outfits while some odd guy who owns the place just becomes a nuisance, and suddenly a killer is on the lose dressed as a Jabberwocky.

Thats really it dear readers, the film does not offer up much more thsn that. The kills are terrible, fake as Hell and badly acted. The killer will swipe a machete a whole three feet away from the victim, and yet suddenly they spurt blood! There is a daft twist which is so badly acted you don;t even realise its a twist, some of the girls try to act angry at times, or brave and come across as if you were watching a Primary School play. There is the all important shower scene, a lesbian clinch and lots of lots of hot girls. But, the film is a total tease all the way though. None of the girls actually show anything, apart from the girl in the shower, none of the deaths are gruesome and the plot is none existent. All this film has going for it is that each and every one of the girls is very easy on the eye, and their pointless outfits  make it more enjoyable to watch. A highlight for me was one of the girls wearing the tightest of black dresses and heels getting stuck trying to climb through a window and the killer decides to give her a spanking. That gives you an idea of the mentality on offer here. Don’t bother with this trash, it is dreadful, really really dreadful. But, saying that, there is an odd charm to it, and after a few drinks this would actually become very very entertaining. Watch it sober and you just might end up going back to where you bought or rented it from and slapping the cashier in the face with it for ever letting you rent it.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

[pt-filmtitle]Alice in Murderland[/pt-filmtitle]

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About Matt Wavish 598 Articles
A keen enthusiast and collector of all horror and extreme films. I can be picky as i like quality in my horror. This doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a classic, but as long as it has something to impress me then i'm a fan. I watch films by the rule that if it doesn't bring out some kind of emotive response then it aint worth watching.

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