Cthulhu (2007)

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CTHULHU (2007)

 

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJDS9jUx0Ic[/youtube]

Directed by Dan Gildark
Starring: Jason Cottle, Cara Buono, Dennis Kleinsmith, Scott Patrick Green and Tori Spelling

Russ (Jason Cottle), a college professor, returns to his home town to organise the sale of his mother’s estate after her passing. During his stay Russ encounters weird happenings in the town and discovers a plot involving his father, Reverand Marsh (Dennis Kleinsmith)  and many of the town folk. It seems the town is involved in a cult worshipping the Old Gods, including Dagon. What plans do they have for Russ?

I’m gonna keep this short and sweet. If you’re looking for a Cthulhu film, this is not it. I highly suggest the quite brilliant, black and white, 47minute silent movie ‘The Call of the Cthulhu’ for that. This is a film based around Dagon and is loosely based on HP Lovercraft’s The Shadow  Over Innsmouth. However, this is a messy film that makes hardly any sense and in my opinion, is just plain awful.

Russ does not get on with his father, Reverend Marsh, who dislikes the fact that Russ is homosexual and urges his son to start his own legacy by having children. Russ is having none of it and decides to hook up with childhood friend, Mike (Scott Patrick Green), who he quickly becomes close to. Meanwhile, his sister Dannie’s friend, Susan (Tori Spelling), is quite keen to get into Russ’ pants after her husband lost his testicles in a construction accident. This is as exciting as it gets, and its not very. The only real thing of beauty in this film were the polar bears swimming in the tank at the zoo. So graceful, but its a shame they weren’t in the wild where they belong.
Throw in some stories of missing children by a young mini-mart shop girl and a drunken mariner, coupled with an underground chase a 10second glimpse of dodgy looking Dr Who style monsters and you have the film Cthulhu. It’s a mess. Actually, that’s an understatement. The whole film is pointless and puzzling. For instance, the film included a scene of a young Russ and Mike jerking off under a pier, gazing upon the sunset, talking about famous women they like. Why?! It had no relation to the little story this film had.

With At The Mountains of Madness temporarily in the bin, I don’t think we’ll ever see a HP Lovecraft novel done to justice on the big screen.

Rating: ½☆☆☆☆

[pt-filmtitle]Cthulhu[/pt-filmtitle]

Bat
About Bat 7780 Articles
I love prosthetic effects, stop-motion animation and gore, but most of all I love a good story! I adore B-movies and exploitation films in many of their guises and also have a soft spot for creature features. I review a wide range of media including movies, TV series, books and videogames. I'm a massive fan of author Hunter S. Thompson and I enjoy various genre of videogames with Kingdom Hearts and Harvest Moon two of my all time favs. Currently playing: GTA Online & Mortal Kombat 11

2 Comments

  1. I just saw something in that review that I thought we could not do! Interesting! 😮

    “I don’t think we’ll ever see a HP Lovecraft novel done to justice on the big screen.”

    Bride of Re-Animator is the closet we have got, the ending of that film was inspired from HP Lovecrafts!!

    As for this film? The sign of Tori Spelling in the cast makes me never want to watch this movie, In the words of Sydney Prescott “You know my luck they cast Tori Spelling!- How the heck did Stab manages to get three sequels 😉

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