Cowboys and Zombies (2010)
(18) Running Time: 82 minutes
Director: Rene Perez
Writer: Rene Perez
Starring: David A Lockhart, Camille Montgomery, Rick Mora
Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic
Originally called The Dead and the Damned, the title of this film has recently been changed, I wonder why? Clearly no one is THAT stupid to make the mistake that this is an entirely different film? Well, mark my words, if you did make that mistake then you are gonna feel mighty pissed off you did. I don’t expect this to be a very long review because, to be honest, I don’t really have a lot to say about this silly little film. It doesn’t know what it wants to be for starters, so I don’t know whether to review it as a comedy, a horror, an action film based in the Old West, a sci-fi, Christ it could be anything! The sad thing is, whichever of those genres you decide it is worthy of, it is a bad example of it. Cowboys and Zombies wants to be a bit smart, a bit cheeky and a bit cult and fails on all three counts.
David A Lockhart and his daft high pitch voice play Mortimer, a bounty hunter who does his absolute best to look fearsome. He travels through towns looking for the next big prize he can hunt down. We meet him in an opening scene which see’s him in a gunfight with some local bad guys. The gun fight actually looks like a school play it, it is badly staged and terribly acted and it looks fake as hell. I simply can’t go into detail because it is too painful to think about. Mortimer moves on to a new bounty which should bring him some good money, an Indian from a nearby tribe has been raping the local girls and so Mortimer decides to ‘buy’ a prostitute to use as bait. He ties her to the floor in the middle of a field and awaits the Indian, who takes the bait and a piss poor fight ensues, but the two end up interrupted and have to join forces due to some strange goings on.
Local miners have found a meteorite and one of the idiot’s break it open and a bright green mist escapes and turns them all into Zombies, chaos, I believe, is what is supposed to have happened next. It aint chaos it’s a total mess with the extras in the film clearly not having the first clue about how to act, Mortimer continues to irritate with his high pitch wine, the local prostitute continues to get her boobs out (one of the films high points) and the stupid Indian fella continues to shake uncontrollably when in peril. Seriously, I like my bad films as much as the next person, and often they can be so bad they become incredibly enjoyable but Cowboys and Zombies just takes the biscuit. Not good, not big and certainly not clever, this is cheap nonsense which has no idea what is wants to be, is a total shambles and will probably give you a headache. Avoid!
[pt-filmtitle]Cowboys and Zombies[/pt-filmtitle]