Bikini Girls on Ice (2009)
(18) Running time: 82 minutes
Director: Geoff Klein
Writers: Geoff Klein, Jeff Ross
Starring: Cindel Chartrand, Danielle Doetsch, William Jarand, Suzi Lorraine
Reviewed by Matt Wavish, official HCF critic
This daft horror is solely aimed at men and lesbians, and the fact its crap is saved by one thing and one thing only, bikinis!!!!! A bus full of bikini clad girls breaks down outside a rundown petrol station in the middle of nowhere. The girls are en-route to a wet carwash where, I can only assume, they intend to make money washing people’s cars and getting all wet. Two other girls heading there decide to stop at this petrol station as well and luckily enough, they all meet up.
Now, we know there is a bad man at this petrol station because the film opens with a girl arriving at the station at night, she is lost, and as any normal girl would do at midnight, she is wearing shorts and a bikini top!! Anyway, she meets a grisly death, and it’s only a matter of time before all these new girls do as well. Two men (the bus driver and his mate) attempt to fix the bus but it takes ages and so they have to stay. A local idiot drives past and warns them not to stay there, but the girls ignore him and decide to set up car wash at this petrol station instead. Surely they need permission to use the petrol stations water and facilities, so it’s no wonder the long haired killer decides to start killing them off one by one, where’s their fucking manners! And that’s it, loads of girls walking or running around in a bikini (even at night) and being killed off, two men who may as well just not be there, and a long haired killer who aint scary in the slightest. A perv fest then plain and simple: no real plot, no real scares just one great big excuse to have a bunch of fine looking ladies running scared in bikinis.
[pt-filmtitle]Bikini Girls on Ice[/pt-filmtitle]