HUGHESY'S EYE ON THE TELLY! A weekly look at the shows on the box!


 HUGHESY’S EYE ON THE TELLY!  A weekly look at the shows on the box!

Our very own HCF Critic Ross Hughes is a TV Fanatic, so we have given him his own weekly column where he can voice his opinion on all the shit on the box!
You have been warned….because he WATCHES EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every year I say to myself I won’t do it, I won’t subject myself to the never ending pain I put myself through every Saturday night, but like always I give in and find myself sitting down to watch the useless X Factor, where talent is not to be found and the only excitement I get is to see Dermot O’Leary squirm with embarrassment with that little dance he is made to do on every opening show.  Well we only two weeks away from the finishing line and as always there is no one of talent which I really want to win!  The most interesting character was Kitty and despite having a nice pair of lungs, her quite bizarre “I am great and better than you” attitude meant her chances disappeared well before the show got into her groove.  At least I do not have to suffer the image of the sex face of Craig anymore.  Dear me, every time he sang it looked like he was having an orgasm.  Seriously, I do not want to sit down on a Saturday night and eat my takeaway to watch a man “cum” in his pants on live Telly!
But now he has gone and probably to put on a new pair from M&S (they come free with the Advert) I am now suffering the idle hands of Amelia Lily.  Watch this week and see her right hand constantly move high above her head, to the side and then back again.  Its like The Hand from that Michael Caine horror and I really want to chop it off but I am to scared too because I know it will come crawling across the floor and choke me to death which is probably ideal punishment for watching this shite.
And it is shite, I mean look at last weekend where we had the final showdown between two girls, one who has never been in the bottom two and another who has been in the bottom more times than a guy on a date with Jordan.  So who goes?… decide…..well not quite, despite fans spending a fortune on phone call votes, the judges decide and who did they go with?, a girl hardly no one likes or a girl everyone seems to hate?  Yep they choose to save the girl no one likes and poor Irish bird Janet who forgets her lines more times than a EastEnder actor on a live show is sent packing to sing in packed pubs all over Ireland for the rest of her life  Here I must stick up for this girl, this is a lady with a unique singing voice and where only certain songs would fit and they give her Hanson’s Mmmpop to feckin sing.
But then I suppose that was the only way to protect Misha B, the girl all the judges want to do well even though she can not connect to the audience, because of the “bullying smear!” which has unfairly been levelled at her.  Lets be honest its not that at all, its because the girl does not sing but scream out loud on every feckin note.  How Craig managed to ejaculate after her performance is a mystery because I be like “No thanks love, I have a headache!”.
Who will win?  My money is on Marcus, a guy who is destined to end up the same way as Leon and Shane, (yes…who!)……but then there is only one winner in all this and that is a certain man called Simon who is sitting back in his chair over in America and laughing all the way to the bank……..
Steve Owen, Johnny Allen and numerous others have all tried to take on the mantle of Walford’s bad guy and while Phil Mitchell has ruled the place for many years, finally EastEnders as a bad guy to get all fans excited!  Derek Branning played by the terrific Jamie “Layer Cake” Foreman has only been in the show for over a week and already he steals every scene he is in.  Already we have seen him mean and moody towards Pat and her earrings, but it was the brief scene with Phil that gave very fan a taste of what to expect.  We have been promised the biggest feud in any soap’s history between the two hard men and after a few years of poor storylines, 2012 may see the tagline of “EastEnders, everyone is talking about it!” finally come true!
Yes the loss of the show’s best character Nathan was a huge blow for the hit TV show Misfits but while Robert Sheehan moved on to bigger but not better things, (Season Of The Witch anyone?), the loss did not prove that much of a heartbreak because of the arrival of the quite superb Rudy, but while the show started off with a bang, the last two episodes have been realy poor.  The Nazi’s episode while better than what Doctor Who recently offered, lacked the wit and warmth and just did not feel like Misfits and last weeks body sway episode was another waste of 45 mnutes of my life.  It seems the loss of their original awesome powers is one of the reasons why season three seems so poor!  Look at Alisha, a girl who once had the awesome power of anyone who touched her would want to have sex with her, now being replaced by “I close my eyes and I can find people”….yawn!!!!!!!  Like her power, the show is flat at the moment and it seems the power of the script is one of the reasons why fans are complaing this year.  Get it right writers!…..Please!
It saddens me that there are people out there who lavish the praise on such TV Shows like Fringe and co and yet turn their noses up to the likes of Being Human, simply because it is British.  The attitude is like “Its made over here so it can not be as good as America!” and that saddens me because Being Human as been the best thing on TV for the last three years.  A ghost, Vampire and Werewolf all living under the same roof has brought more laughs and scares than any other TV show at present and while I am one of its biggest fans, the news that Russell Tovey has quit the show means that despite the BBC going ahead with the 4th season, for me the show is now over.  With Adian Turner already quit the role of Mitch and heading off towards the soon to be the blockbuster hit The Hobbit,  the show simply can not cope with the loss of Tovey as well, whose character George is one of the most loved in the show.  Shows such like The X Files have all failed to adapt when their leading star has quit, so how can Being Human cope with the lose of two?  This is possibly the worst TV news of the year and I can see many fans turning off now which means the end of a very special show despite the still on board delight of Annie the ghost!………
More next week!……………….
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About Ross Hughes 524 Articles
Since my mother sat me down at the age of five years of age and watched a little called Halloween, I have been hooked on horror. There is no other genre that gets me excited and takes me to the edge of entertainment. I watch everything from old, new, to cheap and blockbusters, but I promise all my readers that I will always give an honest opinion, and I hope whoever reads this review section, will find a film that they too can love as much as I do! Have fun reading, and please DO HAVE NIGHTMARES!!!!!!

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