Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies (2012)

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies (2012)
Directed by: Richard Schenkman
Written by: Karl T. Hirsch, L. Lauren Proctor
Starring: Bill Oberst Jr, Kent Iglheart, Rhianna Van Helton

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies (2012)

(15) Running time: 96 minutes

Director: Richard Schenkman

Writer: Karl T. Hirsch, L. Lauren Proctor

Starring: Bill Oberst Jr, Kent Igleheart, Rhianna Van Helton

Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic

The Asylum once again take a much larger film title and turns it into one of their cheap rip-offs which sometimes work, and sometimes don’t. While Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was a huge effects heavy extravaganza, Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies is a bare basics, low budget bore-fest that is saved by one man, and one man alone: Bill Obesrt Jr. In fact, I would go so far as to say he was so good in this that it actually upsets me having to write about the poor quality of the film, so Bill I am sorry to do this, but Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies doesn’t quite cut it.

It is certainly not the worst film I have seen this year, and I would go so far as to say if you got some beers, some pizza and put your silly head on then you could probably have a laugh at the action scenes and fast forward the talky scenes that don’t involve Lincoln (plated, naturally, by Bill Obesrt Jr). So what I am saying is this film might not be a complete waste of your time in the right circumstances!

Anyway, Lincoln is in the crisis of Civil War, and as if he did not have enough to deal with the undead have decided to show up in the worst possible timing in the history of bad timing. Could they not have waited until Lincoln had sorted out his own issues first? The ignorant bastards! So poor old Abraham Lincoln must now hunt the zombies and get rid of them before starting a panic, while also having a lot of discussions about his other problems as well, and that is pretty much the content here: discussions, some zombie killing then more discussions. There is very little to this film, but Oberst Jr is hypnotic as Lincoln and if you really needed a reason for watching this, then it would be for his performance. I haven’t seen Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln yet, but I am sure Daniel Day Lewis gives a fine performance. However, did anyone ask Bill Oberst Jr to play him? My wife happened to walk in during the film’s final moments, and as usual looked at me with disgust and asked “what the Hell are you watching now?!” I told her the title, she looked at the screen and said the man playing Lincoln looks just like him. So Bill, well done and I really, truly hope that bigger film companies will see your performance here and just maybe you will get the chance to move away from these crap films and share your talents with some bigger and better filmmakers.

The film here suffers not only from a low budget and some hideously badly written dialogue, but it is the acting from the rest of the cast which bring about the most problems. From main characters to extras, they are truly awful and often you might have to look away as the next person to speak builds himself up, takes a deep breath and delivers their line as if their life depended on it. How the director filmed this and thought “yeh, brilliant!” is beyond me. However, fair play to the director for making the most out of his props and locations. There was clearly no budget, and I don’t recall seeing any CGI, so this is all make-up and practical effects and it actually looks pretty good. The zombies themselves look fairly decent, it is just the actors playing them don’t do their jobs very well.

The pace is quite slow, with a lot of time spent on just talking, and the story is not all that riveting. There was one scene which stood out well and this was a standoff between Lincoln and his men and members of the Union Army, and provides one of the film’s most tense moments. Sadly though, there is not much else to report back on this one. My recommendation is that if you are a fan of Bill Oberst Jr then you simply have to see this for his performance alone, however there isn’t much else to recommend here.

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