SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING (2017)
Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante
On DVD – exclusively at ASDA
Fin Shepard and his family are in London, scheduled to meet with NATO regarding the impact of further sharknados and how to tackle them, when he gets a call from Nova. During an expedition with her “sisters”, she’s discovered an important clue about the origin of sharknados in a cave under Stonehenge and requires Fin to join her so they can investigate further. Abandoning his family, he sets off for Stonehenge where he and Nova inspect some interesting looking wall paintings that suggest that sharknados have been a threat to planet Earth longer than they could have imagined. Discovering an important artefact that could hold the key to stopping the Sharknados, Fin and Nova take it to use themselves to save the planet but in doing so trigger the biggest Sharknado threat they’ve yet to face that will stop at nothing in tearing Fin’s world, and the Earth itself, apart!
What feels like an annual celebration of the shark, SHARKNADO has now become a running joke and it unashamedly embraces this fact by thinking of all the craziest ideas they could put to film and throwing it at the screen. Whilst for some this may be car-crash television, for people like me who thrive on the fun, mad-as-box-of-frogs cinema, this is a bloody dream come true! The opening 20 mins of the film has more action, stars and thrills than most feature length blockbusters have in their entire running time!
SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING has everything you never knew you needed in life. Where else can you see Poison’s Bret Michaels be hit by a red double decker bus in London and not only survive it but be essentially strapped to the front of the bus, Mad Max style, playing his guitar and twatting the living daylights out of oncoming sharks? The film also opens itself up to a host of Z-list Brit celebrities including Katie Price (Jordan) as the Prime Minister’s assistant, Pineapple Studios dancer Louie Spence as a bodyguard, former model Samantha Fox as a tech expert and a slew of reality TV stars. They’ve even managed to rope in Good Morning Britain hosts Charlotte Hawkins, Kate Garraway and Laura Tobin to make the London attack appear legit, something which is repeated with various news stations in other countries which the Sharknado hits throughout this sequel. And to top things off, the London eye, which is armed with rockets, ends up sucked off its mount into the sharknado as it tears its way towards the iconic Big Ben; cue rocket-equipped cyborg April who flies to the famous clock to save the day using just one of her Superman-like powers bestowed to her by her mad scientist father Gary Busey in the previous outing. Sounds absolutely bat-shit crazy? You betcha!
Where the previous films have almost exclusively dealt with the sharknados in the USA, it’s nice to see other parts of the world get a look in, especially the UK (well, London & Somerset). There’s so much potential and they’ve managed to shoehorn every typical London icon in with even the Queen making an appearance (warning: she looks nothing like our Lizzy). Once London has been rinsed, it’s Switzerland, Egypt, Germany and Japan’s turn to endure the Sharknado threat with more madcap scenarios that occasionally homage films gone by, whether it’s stealing a famous line or re-enacting a memorable scene.
To sum the film up, you’re either going to love it or hate it. For me, it’s tons of fun that loves to play with the ridiculous idea of a tornado jam-packed with sharks blended with nods to the past, be it films, celebs and even music with The Offspring‘s The Kids Aren’t Alright playing and an appearance from legendary skateboarder Tony Hawk, a guy who’s Pro Skater games took up most of my free time in the early noughties. It unashamedly embraces its wacky absurdity and has managed to rope in as many cameos as it possible can to bring viewers a mini masterpiece in pure craziness.
If you’re tired of serious dramas and intense horrors, then SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING is the remedy you need. A laugh-a-minute, you will find yourself glued to the incredible awesomeness that The Asylum has once again delivered.