Prowl (2010)

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Written by:
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Prowl (2010) (18)

Running Time: 81 mins

Director: Patrick Syverson

Writer: Tim Tori

Starring: Ruta Gedamintas, Joshua Bowman, Perdita Weeks

Reviewed by: Matt Wavish- Official HCF critic

So, where to begin with this new vampire/zombie horror? Well,  firsty there’s Amber (Courtney Hope), and then there’s Amber and then there’s even more of Amber! She rules the blasted film, from beginning to end! Living in a small town in the country, she longs for a life in the big city, and when the chance comes along to get herself an apartment in the far off land, she jumps at the chance. Without giving any of her friends any thought whatsoever, she decides that move she will, at whatever cost. At a suicide inducing house party, we learn that dear Amber has issues and all I can say to that is: Boring!!! Oh, poor Amber doesn’t want to get into the pool because she is such a dark spirit who would rather be deep in thought with a face like a horse than actually have fun! She mopes around the screen like a child who has had it’s toys taken away, and she irritates. Fed up with her character within the first five minutes, it’s hard to feel any sympathy when she so depsrately wants to leave, and when given the chance you start to wish she would just fuck off out the film for good. Sadly, she moans and groans so much about no one giving her a lift, even selfishly moaning at her friend who says his Mum needs the car, that eventually she gets her precious lift, and for some godforsaken reason, her friends tag along. Now we have to endure the sorry sods on a road trip across the country.

Their car breaks down in the middle on nowhere (hooray!!!) and a lorry driver comes along and offers them a lift (boo!!!). The lorry driver is one Bruce Payne, remember him as Charles Rayne in Passenger 57? Well, it took me a few minutes to recognise him I can tell you! Anyway, he seems nice enough, but the friends insist on taking his picture to send to friends, just in case. Waste of time that was as they end up in trouble anyway, and fully deserved too! Now, if you were offered help by a hardworking lorry driver who risked his job to give you a lift, would you really sit in his carriage and drink, smoke dope and play strip poker? Come on, have some decency. These bunch of idiots obviously don’t care, and carry on until the lorry swerves off the road and suddenly people start dying.

Miraculously, half of them get brutally beaten, and then come back as if nothings happened. Strange, animal-like creatures are hunting them in a warehouse, and the whole thing seems to be a big game run by some woman and some dodgy looking bully with big muscles, long hair, tattoos and shades on in doors, oh, and just to make him look even more scary, he slowly pulls a wad of cash from his jacket pocket, in super slow-mo! Every attack is filmed with incredibly irritating shaky-cam which is uneccessary and nauseating. You can’t make out a bloody thing that is happenig and you can’t even see whose winning! This is badly acted, badly scripted and terribly produced, with all that daft shaky-cam thrown in to try and look cool. It doesn’t, it’s almost as irritating as Amber and her silly emotions and selfish behaviour. Stupid film this, with a ‘twist’ in the tale that if you did not see coming from about a minute in, then you’re watching a different film.  This is a sorry attempt at being cool, current and fresh and it fails on all three counts.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

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About Matt Wavish 598 Articles
A keen enthusiast and collector of all horror and extreme films. I can be picky as i like quality in my horror. This doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a classic, but as long as it has something to impress me then i'm a fan. I watch films by the rule that if it doesn't bring out some kind of emotive response then it aint worth watching.

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