Komodo VS Cobra

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Written by: ,
Starring: , ,


Komodo VS Cobra (2005)

(15) Running time: 94 mins

Director: Jim Wynorski

Writer: Jim Wynorski, Bill Munroe

Starring: Michael Pare, Michelle Borth, Ryan McTavish, Renee Talbert

Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic

Director Jim Wynorski has been making these types of movies for over 25 years, with past highlights including Dinocroc VS Supergator, Raptor and Cheerleader Massacre along with other imaginatively titled soft porn flicks like The Bare Wench Project, The Witches of Breastwick and Cleavagefiled. I think you get the idea of what to expect here, so going in with your expectations as low as they can possibly go would suggest you may actually find plenty to enjoy with this addition to the SyFy channels back catalogue. To get you even more excited, Wynorski has some upcoming features too, the intriguing Camel Spiders and Piranhaconda! Bring it on I say. But to concentrate on the film at hand, Komodo VS Cobra, or K VS C as it says on the sleeve.

Based on what appears to be the exact same island from Dinocroc VS Supergator, which actually includes the very same waterfall in the woods where a couple became victims as in this film, I can only imagine the budget was tight. The plot is identical to Dinocroc too, with mutated monsters running around the island eating everyone, although there a large gaps between attacks here, very large gaps. The plot is wafer thin, a military group head to the island of Bora Bora to hunt and kill the two beasts after the US military get a distress call from one of the ‘hot chicks’ of the film, Dr Susan Richardson (Borth). Her two assistants, or whatever they are, have been eaten, one by the giant Komodo, and the other by the giant Cobra. It’s not only the military heading to the island, and Earth saving group are also heading there to expose the dark experiments, and have to bribe Captain Mike A. Stoddard (Pare) to take them there on his boat. Stoddard is the tough guy, probably because he carries a gun in one hand and hides a bottle of whisky (which he never drinks) in his jacket pocket. Oh, and he talks like a tough guy too, just in case we didn’t realise he was a tough guy!

The military are wiped out within seconds, but they still get the chance to wander around the jungle trying to act, and then standing still as a giant Komodo foot decides to squish them. See, if that were me, I would have moved out the way, but these well trained, and deadly assassins are way too strong. “No giant Komodo foot can squash me!” they say, “watch as I stand here and prove it” Of course, they don’t say this, but moving out the way would actually be a good idea! The Earth savers soon end up the hunted, and low and behold, they find the ‘hot chick’ Dr Richardson, and yes she is very hot, as is one of the Earth savers, Carrie (Talbert). So now we are blessed with a good hour of two hot chicks, another who aint too bad, a tough guy, a bunch of idiots trying to act and look scared or in pain, two badly CGI monsters, an awful plot, dreadful acting and music which feels like it should really belong in some European porn movie. It’s cheesy; many scenes are terribly timed, like the guy who stands screaming at the attacking Cobra for what seems like forever while the Tough Guy shoots it. Just blood run man, for God’s sake, why would you just stand there screaming? I reckon the Cobra was gonna let him go, and decided to eat him just to shut him up!

Oh, and there are moments of serious mistakery, like Mr Tough Guy who seems to be able to fire off fifty odd rounds from a small handgun which probably holds no more than six bullets! But you watch him fire that gun, he doesn’t even aim the damned thing, at one point he even has a conversation with a ‘terrified’ chap and doesn’t even pay attention to where he’s shooting! The man’s a feckin Superhuman! I could go on and on, but I won’t as I don’t want to spoil the fun. You could do a lot worse on a Friday night than rent this with a few tinnies and have a laugh with it. The more drunk you are, the more fun this will be, trust me!

Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

[pt-filmtitle]Komodo vs Cobra[/pt-filmtitle]

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About Matt Wavish 598 Articles
A keen enthusiast and collector of all horror and extreme films. I can be picky as i like quality in my horror. This doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a classic, but as long as it has something to impress me then i'm a fan. I watch films by the rule that if it doesn't bring out some kind of emotive response then it aint worth watching.

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