Bitch Slap (2009)
(18) Running time: 109 minutes
Director: Rick Jacobson
Writers: Rick Jacobson, Eric Gruendemann
Starring: Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America Olivio
Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic
I don’t think i have seen a film that is so openly perverted in all my life! I think there is a plot to this, but its hard to take in with all the sexual stuff on show here!
Firstly, the plot. The film starts, and we’re introduced to 3 gorgeous girls, and they are introduced brilliantly, and give a good indication to what this film is like. Each one simply gets out of a car in the desert, however, we get a very very slow motion shot, one by one, from their feet all the way up to their face, stopping at the breasts for a little pause, just to take it all in It would seem these 3 girls are after some buried cash, or something, and they have a guy in the boot of the car who knows where it is. He is eventually beaten up, and shot in the head (nice girls by the way). The next 90 mins is them in the desert trying to bury his body, find the cash, and dealing with police, and a bizarre couple (one is a guy with tourettes and his girlfriend is a violent Japanese girl who kills people with a yoyo which has razor blades on it). This all takes place in the same area of the desert, only, we are given multiple flashbacks to how they all came to be there, then there’s double crossing and dodgy back-stories etc. That’s the plot, and to be honest, who really gives a shit. We wanna see women!!!
And we most certainly do We get lots of slow motion shots of cleavages, legs, skirts, bums, we get a water fight, for no reason whatsoever, and its all in slow motion as the 3 girls decide to start chucking buckets of water over each other! There’s girl on girl fights, and i swear, none of these girls know how to die, even Arnie couldn’t kill them! There’s a rather lovely lesbian scene between 2 of them, before the 3rd girl catches them at it and punches one of their lights out! Clothes get ripped off, and there’s a whole load of cheesy one liners. A bit of fun then, in the most tasteful (or distasteful, depending on taste) way, I recommend every warm blooded male (or female?) give this a go, just not in front of the wife,
Rating: (sorry, but its shit, but its good shit)