Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012): Out now on DVD & Bluray

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Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012)

(15) Running time: 87 minutes

Director: John Shepphird

Writers: Jeffrey Schenk, Peter Sullivan, Richard Gnolfo, Michael Ciminera

Starring: Jack Scalia, Jeremy Luke, Joey Russo, Daniel Booko, Melissa Molinaro

Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic

I have never watched the reality TV series Jersey Shore, so I am probably not the most reliable person to be reviewing this, but I will give it a shot. From what I can tell, this SyFy Original movie is a sort of parody of the Jersey Shore TV series, featuring actors who look like the real thing and play up to those characters to make this into a bit of a slapstick comedy. It was hilarious in places, but I wonder if I was laughing for the right reasons. The film also takes its influences from Steven Spielberg’s Jaws, right down to the holiday season beach closure issues and people going out to hunt the shark (sharks in this case). So, in all fairness, Jersey Shore Sark Attack has its heart in the right place, and no doubt fans of the TV series will find plenty to enjoy, but sadly I wasn’t quite in on the joke.

The story goes that years ago Jersey Shore was attacked by these albino bull sharks, and some oil drilling (what else) has freed them again. As Jersey Shore prepares to celebrate the summer season, one death causes a group of lads known as Guidos (I think) to spring into action and try and close the beaches as they believe it was a shark attack. One of this group is the Son of the local Sheriff, but his Dad is not interested. Added to these problems are the fact the Guidos do not get on with the Preppies, the spoilt rich kids of the area (I think I have got this right) and they tend to fight a lot. It is all school boy stuff, and very over the top but I presume it is supposed to be like this. It is not until a famous singer gets eaten in a hilarious scene which see’s a shark jump out of the water (they do a lot of that these days!) that the residents take notice.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack is filled with mindless, dumb as fuck fun with characters that will have you siding with the sharks. The sharks themselves are the usual poorly designed CGI nonsense that are laughable rather than scary, but they do what they have to do. Seeing them swimming through the water in their group of five is not exactly exciting, but a whole lot of fun. The females are all good looking and enjoy wearing very little, and the banter between the two divides of people provides some of the films highlights. None of the cast can act, and even a few cameos from ‘proper’ actors like Paul Sorvino and William Atherton can’t save this delightful mess.

The film is tons of fun, even if it is incredibly crap, but it is the sense of fun and lashings of hilarious moments that make this film very difficult to dislike. Yes the two groups will annoy you, yes the effects are shocking and yes the script, pacing and plot are all over the place, but at least this film is trying to have some fun at the same time. It is not trying to be clever, and is filled with moments both Jaws andJerseyShorefans will spot and find hilarious. Jersey Shore Shark Attack is crap, in the best possible way.

Rating: ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

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About Matt Wavish 598 Articles
A keen enthusiast and collector of all horror and extreme films. I can be picky as i like quality in my horror. This doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a classic, but as long as it has something to impress me then i'm a fan. I watch films by the rule that if it doesn't bring out some kind of emotive response then it aint worth watching.

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