Stitches (2012): Released 4th March on DVD & Blu-ray

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Stitches (2012)

(18) Running time: 86 minutes

Director: Conor McMahon

Writers: Conor McMahon, David O’Brien

Cast: Ross Noble, Gemma-Leah Devereux, Tommy Knight, Lorna Dempsey

Reviewed by: Matt Wavish

Ah the classic tale of a poorly treated victim who gets killed and returns from the dead to seek revenge on those who killed him. The story never grows old, and the classic slasher setup will never fail to please us horror fans. Slashers can range in terms of quality, but if you don’t have a strong killer character, you may as well give up. Thankfully, Stitches boasts an impressive villain thanks to an impressively dark performance by British comedian, Ross Noble, but aside from his killer clown character, there is not a lot else here.

The set up is typical: the clown heads to a children’s party where the kids are spoilt and have no time for clowns. While the poor funny guy performs his tricks, the kids mock him and throw things at him, causing his blood to boil. Eventually a kid ties the clowns shoelaces together, he falls and lands on a rather large kitchen knife. The clown dies, in hilarious fashion, but years later, when the kids are teenagers, he returns to have his revenge!


There is no more plot than that, and to be perfectly honest, you don’t need any more story. All we can do for now is wait for Stitches to arrive at a house party, and begin slaughtering those who killed him in hilarious, gory and over the top fashion. Each kill is built up with a one-liner, and the kills are good. We see a bicycle pump shoved into the back of someone’s head and their head literally blown up, heads are kicked off and umbrellas used to explode someone’s face. There is a lot of ideas here with the kills, and the editing ensures they are given maximum impact. When there is blood, there is buckets of the stuff. Noble slithers around the screen having the time of his life, and he has created a new slasher icon for today’s horror crowd with Stitches. Apparently there has been talk of turning this into a franchise, and I would welcome that as long as the problems here can be fixed.

The problems are the awful script, and the ultra wooden and forgetful characters. Stitches rules the show, but you should at least be asked to feel something for his victims. Alas, poor writing and badly developed characters means you spend the entire film waiting for the next kill, and everything inbetween just becomes filler and just something in the way of the next moment of bloodshed. Saying that though, the film is well produced, and has some superb imagery to enjoy. One particular favourite was seeing a head recently kicked off its owners shoulders landing in a pond in super slow motion.

Director Conor McMahon clearly has skills when it comes to directing, and the film is cleverly put together by some at times inch perfect editing. However, the editing does become somewhat annoying as it continues to chop scenes apart. A sex scene is edited with a death and it does not exactly work.  So there are pros and cons with Stitches, but as a first film in a possible series, this is a good start. There is plenty of comedy, violence and the odd bit of sex here for all horror fans to enjoy, just don’t expect anything you haven’t seen before. Personally, I would welcome seeing Stitches return!

Rating: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆


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About Matt Wavish 598 Articles
A keen enthusiast and collector of all horror and extreme films. I can be picky as i like quality in my horror. This doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a classic, but as long as it has something to impress me then i'm a fan. I watch films by the rule that if it doesn't bring out some kind of emotive response then it aint worth watching.

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