Mar 272016
 




batman-v-superman-wonder-woman

Now the dust is settling on one of this year’s biggest film releases, it’s time to digest what went wrong with Zack Snyder’s attempt at bringing two heavyweight Superheroes together for the first time!

BE WARNED!  This will contain SPOILERS…..SO PLEASE STOP READING IF YOU HAVE NOT YET SEEN THE FILM!

Let’s Start:

 

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THE BATMAN:

It’s generally accepted between the hate of this mash up is that one of the most promising factors of the film is Ben Affleck’s Batman, that makes us quite excited for his eventual solo movie!  After Christian Bale more or less won the hearts of Bat fans everywhere in Christopher Nolan’s much celebrated trilogy, a lot of pressure was on Affleck to get it right, especially as Daredevil still haunted him.  To be fair he nails the role, despite a script not offering the best of his character arc.  The problem is that his character is often conflicted in many scenes.  He is either in a stage of his life where he has lost everyone around him and is now disregarding his own values, which would have been fine, but then is some scenes he is more assertive and still shows he cares. The film can’t have it both ways.  Having a conflicted and world weary Batman who apparently has lost his Robin would have been fine and may have taken us the viewer in a whole new direction, but when it comes to actually defeating Superman, he shows us compassion and by the end he is already trying to set up a Justice League.  Considering he has spent the majority of the film “branding” his victims which makes him more vigilante and most probably losing the support of long time ally Jim Gordon, the sudden change in the last act does not make much sense.  What actually made him become focussed again?  The only explanation can be the “Martha” scene, but surely we the viewer can not accept that?

It’s the closing scenes that sums up the hard work Affleck’s Batman faced in the entire running time.  For 140 minutes we have witnessed Batman full of anger and hate towards Superman…(for really no apparent reason I might add), but at the climax, he is suited and mourning the death of his new found ally because they were friends for a good 10 minutes…….really? I mean who actually buys into that, especially with the vengeful and “does not give a shit” Bat we have seen through out!

It’s like when he saves Superman’s mum, the words he uses are “I am a friend of your son?”…….. what the? Come on! Really!

BATMAN V SUPERMAN MOV

Superman/Clark Kent 

After Man Of Steel, we the viewers were going into this film knowing that this character is not the one we remember from Richard Donner’s 70’s masterpiece!  But even now, two films in, Superman still does not act or feel like the man us fans love.  Even the surreal dialogue he utters about “Superman was never real — he was the dream of a farmer from Kansas.” makes us ask “Then who actually are you?”  It could be the fact that Man Of Steel needed a sequel before we got to Dawn Of Justice, because the character still needed to be developed.  He even suffers from being lost in the mix with Batman and eventually Wonder Woman stealing the show.  He hardly does much at all in the entire running time, apart from saving Lois Lane a few times.  Also his Clark Kent is once more not the Kent that should be displayed.

Nervous and bumbling,  his secret identity works because he is so down to earth and loved, but in the this we see Clark as assertive and strong.  How not one journalist, especially Perry White, can not see that the man wearing glasses in front of him is Superman is anyone’s guess.  It’s already a big stretch in the year 2016 to believe a simple pair of glasses can conceal your identity, but it’s more unbelievable if you’re acting the same person with them on and off!

Also, the plot flaw of having Superman and Clark Kent die at the end was an almighty misstep.  It’s quite easy to bring back Superman, but how can the writers bring back Kent as well?  Won’t no one notice that as Superman is announced alive, that Clark is back as well.  Or are we just going to ignore the situation like we did in Superman Returns when after 5 years of not being on Earth, Superman arrives back the same day Clark Kent turns up?  It’s truly a diabolical situation to put the character of Clark in, but it seems Snyder and DC really don’t care for his other alter ego, having already dismissed him much for much of the first film and now throughout most of this running time!

And what is the point of killing Superman?

Yes it follows the comic book lore, but his death does not really add the emotional weight it should.  So far he is not the Superman that the whole world loves, so I doubt there were many tears shed.  As Cavill was still working on his performance as the Man Of Steel, it’s quite staggering that the writers thought that this would cause heartfelt tears from the audience.  His death came way too soon in the franchise as we have only had one film before this and that more or less was just establishing himself in this world.  If they made Man Of Steel 2 and then Dawn Of Justice and then killed him off at the end of say Justice League Part 2, that would have been understandable, but it was way too soon now and seem so forced.  Like the rest of the film and the treatment this universe DC are creating!

Also what funeral were they at in the climax?  Superman’s or Kent’s?  Why would billionaire Bruce Wayne be attending a normal reporter from The Daily Planet?  More questions being asked there if I was a journalist!

man of steel amy adams

Lois Lane 

“I’m not a lady. I’m a journalist.” 

What a stupid and depressing line……I mean she actually said those words?

Even fans of both films must admit that the treatment of Amy Adams portrayal as Lois Lane has been abysmal.  She had more to do in the original Man Of Steel I agree, but in BVS she virtually was only written into the script to be saved by Superman on numerous occasions.

Surely a character like Lois deserves more than that!  Even Margot Kidder who is the definitive Lois Lane in the minds of many, even though Erica Durance from Smallville is much loved, was more sassy and streetwise, and this was from a film born in the 70’s.  Surely in the year 2016, a character that is strong, and one of the best reporters in the world, deserves much better than screaming “help me” over and over!

If they wanted to make the film grim and dirty (which Snyder tried), maybe they should have written it so Lois was sent to Gotham to try and find out who was the man behind the Bat!  The more she investigated, the more dangerous it become, especially if we were meeting a Batman who was now unhinged.  It could have introduced some foes as well, her presence in the city attracting unwanted intention from the likes of The Joker and The Riddler which would have resulted in her life in danger and bringing the conflict between Batman and Superman.  We would have had an emotional pull as well, with Superman upset that the woman he loves is in danger from Batman and his actions……..anything would have been better than just wasting the talents of Amy Adams.

The Kryptonite spear incident sums up the waste of her character.  In one moment, she is chucking the thing away for no reason, but then a few minutes later she is pulling it back out, only to get into trouble and start drowning, for what?  For Supes to save her of course. Also nice of Superman to just stop in mid battle with Doomsday and fly off to save her.  “Sorry Bats, I know we best friends and that, but my woman needs saving, I’ll leave you for 5 to fight this unstoppable foe…..good luck!”….. Bats will be like “Shit!!!  I thought we were BFF!……We shared a Martha moment!”………..

It seems in Snyder’s world that unless you have a Superpower then you can’t be a hero which is a shame because it would have been a nice twist if a heroic Lois Lane somehow saved The Trinity from Doomsday and showed that Superheroes need saving as much as humans.  So much could have been different and worthwhile!

Which brings me to that roof top scene, borrowed so much from The Dark Knight with Joker pushing Rachel off the building.  Yes Lois falls, but then is rescued by Superman?  But how?  The last we saw of him he was having a conversation with his dead dad on a wintery mountain….did he just happen to be flying past?  And if he could hear her screams for help, how could he not hear is own mother’s pleas?

Answers on a postcard please!

lex

Lex Luthor’s grand master plan!

It seems out of most of the negative comments that I agree with, I find myself on the opposite side when discussing Jesse Eisenberg’s role as the criminal mastermind.  Look, I get it!……most of us would have loved to have seen one time favourite Bryan Cranston in this role but Snyder went in a different direction and with it cast Eisenberg who brought a total different dynamic to proceedings.

I’m sure Snyder must have heard the fans call out for “Heisenberg”, misheard it as Eisenberg and cast Jesse.

But I sort of bought it as well.  He is not the Lex we all know but he was quite dark and unhinged and in some ways made me feel that Jesse would have made a brilliant Joker.  I can understand why he has upset the die hard fans, but what Eisenberg managed to do in a somewhat forgettable film is bring much character scope and development.  By the time his head was shaved at the finale, I was keen to see what else he could bring in any further instalments!

What I did not buy into though was his master plan.

Lex wanted to Batman to kill Superman, but why? Did he really need Batman to get involved?  Did he want them both to kill each other?  We know that Batman was closing in on his dirty deeds, but did Lex know that?  The trouble we the audience had is that we were much in the dark over the general scheme of things.  It’s like all we needed to know was “Lex wants them to fight”….but most of us wanted to know “why is that?”

Look at it this way.  Lex had Kryptonite and the knowledge that it could hurt Superman, so why need Batman?  Bringing the Caped Crusader into the fore results in his own downfall. Surely someone of his IQ who knew that the green stone could penetrate the body of Superman, could create something like Krypton bullets?  There was no logic involving Batman and if he was that confident in The Dark Knight destroying his nemesis then why create Doomsday?  By getting rid of one unstoppable foe, he creates another?  What is this, Megamind?

If Batman had killed Superman, then how would have Lex controlled his creation?  He couldn’t have, which demonstrates why having such a brilliant comic book creation as an afterthought is just a waste, a lot like the treatment Bane was given in Batman and Robin.

Also the one power he had and never used was the knowledge that he knew the identity of both heroes.  By grabbing Martha Kent,  he knows Clark Kent is Superman. By sending Bruce Wayne cryptic postcards, he knows he is Batman, so why never mention it…..especially as Batman confronts him at the end?

“Hey get out of my cell Batman or should I say Bruce Wayne?!”……

Now that is power right there, but we get nothing.  Even the much criticised Batman Forever realised this when Chase Meredith went to see The Riddler in prison at the end, and asked him “Who is Batman?”.  Thankfully his memory had gone cuckoo and the knowledge he had on Bruce was trapped and forgotten in the craziness.  But here we are expect to ignore this little plot vice!  No…no…..no……

Ben-Affleck-Batman-Dream

The Dream Sequences:

When is a dream not a dream?  I still can’t understand half of what went on in Batman V Superman.  First of all we had that shitty sequence of Batman fighting off an army before having his cowl removed by Superman.  Yes, it looks cool and threatens future events, but it serves no purpose to the story we were watching.

Also when Bruce awakes, he has another dream on top…or does he?  This is the moment I assume The Flash, well an imposter because all fans love Barry Allen from the TV Show but DC are not bothered of linking everything together,  comes back from the future to warn Bruce not to trust Superman.  OK sounds cool, but why do we see Bruce wake up again?  This suggests a dream, and if it is, why is Bruce dreaming of a Superhero he has no known knowledge of yet?

Also what is that shit of Superman walking around a snowy mountain and coming face to face with his dead dad.  It’s not exactly a Marlon Brando moment from Donner’s classic.  Was it just an excuse to bring Kevin Costner back for a cameo….again, why though?  Is Snyder trying to go all Inception on us?

batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-ben-affleck

The Plot holes:

And there were so many of them, but I’ll just highlight a few of them:

Why did everyone think Superman killed all those bad guys in Africa?  I mean, they were all shot!…does it look like Superman needs a gun?  

It seems that nobody really trusts Superman, so why build a friggin statue in his honour?

Why is Wonder Woman so concerned about a photo?  No-one knows her. Would anyone have joined the dots by looking at an old photo and seeing someone who looks like her?  Her own presence in Metropolis brings the much unwanted attention she did not need. Stay out of sight where she has been hiding over the last 100 years and she would have been fine.  There was no need for her to be in this movie!

Why did Lex need Zod’s body, especially as he already showed a clip of it being cut with Kryptonite.  How did he manage to prove that would work if he had no access to the ship or the dead bodies?  

How are Clark and Lois in love?  It’s one heck of a character development from the events of Man Of Steel, for them to be both sharing a bath in this and living together?  Again it seems like we have skipped a movie!

Why is everywhere inhabited when there is danger?  Did the events of Man Of Steel kill off most of the population?

Since when is Gotham and Metropolis so close together?  They are only a river apart?

Batman-V-Superman-Doomsday1

Doomsday Genitals!

So this big scary CGI Monster has an arse but no dick…….You can understand why he is angry.  As he is some horrible hybrid between Zod and Lex, it begs the question…..which one of those has not got a penis?  It could explain why Lex is off his head!

batman-martha

The Martha Moment!

In what is now one of the most talked about scenes in 2016, with many believing its one of the most infamous bad moments in any Superhero film, it’s a scene that has to be seen to be believed. After a long and a long and a very long build up between these two heroes, the fight finally commences only for it to end once Superman reveals his mother’ name:  it kinda goes like this:

“I want you dead” Batman

BANG…..CRASH….WALLOP………..POW!!!!

“I want you dead” Superman

BANG….CRASH….WALLOP………..POW!!

“Wait, before you kill me…..save…..Martha!”  Superman

“Why did you say that name?”  Batman

“Because it’s his mother’s name”  Lois

“Damn, my mother’s name was Martha as well……….let’s be best friends forever!” Batman

Forget most of the above that scene is the sole reason why Batman V Superman sucks………..

Ross Hughes

Ross HughesSince my mother sat me down at the age of five years of age and watched a little called Halloween, I have been hooked on horror. There is no other genre that gets me excited and takes me to the edge of entertainment. I watch everything from old, new, to cheap and blockbusters, but I promise all my readers that I will always give an honest opinion, and I hope whoever reads this review section, will find a film that they too can love as much as I do! Have fun reading, and please DO HAVE NIGHTMARES!!!!!!

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