WILD THINGS FOURSOME

Wild Things: Foursome (2010)
Directed by: Andy Hurst
Written by: Howard Zemski, Monty Featherstone
Starring: Ashley Parker Angel, Jillian Murray, Marnette Patterson

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Shl9Ce8P18Y[/youtube]

Film
Wild Things Foursome

Director
Andy Hurst

Written By
Howard Zemski and Monty Featherstone

Starring
Jillian Murrary, Marnette Patterson, Ashley Parker, John Schneider

Rating
15

Running Time
92 Minutes

Out now to Buy and Rent

What is it all about?

The third sequel in the popular sexy franchise sees a murdered hotel millionaire’s son get tangled up in a game of seduction and murder after a raunchy night with three beautiful women.

 The Hughes Verdict

Can I just say that Wild Things Foursome sucks?

Could that be just the review so we can all move on with our lives, forget that I ever watched this film and talk about something else?  But then what about those who do not believe me and want to check out the third sequel of these sexy films that have become somewhat of a cult franchise in recent years.  I mean I do have a duty to tell readers why this sucks, I mean there must be a few of you like me who believe that no matter how bad this film could have been, at least it was trashy fun, something we could knock our brain cells off for a hour and a half and just go with the flow.

Well, that is what I thought when I sat down to watch this film.  I mean on paper it seems like a picture in the mind of our very own reporter Matt Wavish, I mean hot chicks in bikini’s, loads of sex and some murder and mayhem, this is a wet dream for our Matt but he too if he decided to watch this will soon realise the only wrist action he be doing is that of pressing the button of the off button of the remote control.

To say this is bad is an understatement but I suppose I better tell you of the plot before I embark on my usual rant.  Carson Wheetly (Ashley Parker) is one of the usual cliche good looking guys who walks around with no top on and with a built up chest.  In another words a spoiled rich boy and a bit of twat who spends his father’s money while all the girls in the girl want to sleep in his bed. His father Ted (Cameron Daddo) just wants what’s best for him but when he dies in an auto accident, Carson believes that he’ll inherit all of the money. In a plot twist (not really but hey I am trying to be dramatic) it seems that his father has locked up the money and won’t allow Carson to have it until he turns 30.  Oh no! What can he do?  How will he live? Carson is so desperate to get his hands on the money he go to any means but so will some girls in his school who are plotting to frame Carson for rape in order to blackmail him into delivering some of that cash.  What follows is a twisty tale that Wild Things fans will see coming simply because this rips off everything that was good about the original.

Now I loved the first.  It was a great film to watch with the boys all those years ago and it had Denise Richards making out with Sydney Prescott, it came out roughly the same time has Cruel Intentions and they both have this guilty pleasure vibe you just can not help but like!  Both franchise’s have had sequels aplenty but while Cruel Intentions have offered something different, Wild Things have all followed the same route and have become semi re-makes of what the original offered. 

Foursome is the worst out of them all to do this.  It does not even hide from the fact that its basically a re-make and for that I could not help but scream at my TV for the lazy approach that it displays.  I mean there no Wild Thing fan alive that will be stunned when Carson is arrested for raping the girl who lives near the swamp, simply because THE SAME THING HAPPENED IN THE ORIGINAL.  Even when he is protesting his innocence to his rich girlfriend Rachel (Patterson) you smell a rat, especially when the victim Brandi (Cox) wins the case!

I am going to do a first here and spoil the next bit, but feck it, if you watching this then you must have seen the rest so I suppose you know what to expect.  After the outcome of the case, Carson meets up with the victim, his girlfriend and another girl and we the viewer find that it was an elaborate plot to get his hands on the money his father left.  To prove they love each other, the four have a foursome which is probably one of the most funniest things you see in a long time.

If this is supposed to be erotic then I have had bigger stiffy’s watching animals mate.  No seriously, I mean come on, this sex scene is so laughable and bad that any sexual tension is well out of the window.  Carson to be fair has his hands all over the girls tits and arse and you can see the actor is having a whale of a time, but the women, well they look as if they want to be somewhere else. The lesbian scenes made me cringe because you can tell the girls involved really did not want to do it.  I mean it was all close mouth pecks and their hands tried their best to avoid touching each other.  If you want to see a proper foursome then type it in goggle, because you wasting your time with this slow mo shite!

Believing that something is wrong with the case we have a Kevin Bacon clone from the original, Detective Frank Walker played by John Schneider. Now I swear when I saw the father of Carson I thought “oh look its the dad from Smallville” when it was not, I was like “damn I thought it was him” so when I saw him playing the cop, I honestly felt that I had telepathic ability which was the only excitement I got through out this film.

I will not go on anymore, I have already wasted to much time of my life on this, but all I can say is if you have seen the original then you have seen Foursome.  Every single twist is repeated here, right down to the ending which again has the entire plot back played during the close credit scenes.

This is not clever, or stupid enough to be watchable, its downright lazy film making for horny 13 year old boys who will probably lap up the tit shots and everything else, and because of that expect Wild Things -Orgy-any time soon!

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