The Rig (2010)
(15) Running time: 86 minutes
Director: Peter Atencio
Writers: Scott Martin, C.W. Fallin
Starring: William Forsythe, Stacey Hinnen, Sereh D’Leine
Reviewed by: Matt Wavish, official HCF critic
The Rig is the latest in a long long line of creature features, and with so many around these days you either need to be ultra special, or ultra rubbish to really be noticed. The Rig sits very happily in the mediocre, can’t be arsed category as there was barely a moment in the film which stood out for reasons good or bad. In fact, there is very little to tell you about this so-called horror, but lets begin with the plot shall we, and see where that takes us.
Workers on an oil rig are stranded as a raging hurricane builds outside, and funnily enough, all communications with the ‘outside world’ are down. William Forsythe is in charge (God help us) and even though I like the guy, his acting abilities here are worse then ever. Just watch him give his crew a bollocking and try and keep a straight face! His daughter also works on the rig and in a plot very much like Armageddon, she is in love with one of the crew. This is much to Forsythe’s annoyance, but his acting is so bad its hard to tell whether he’s angry or not. Speaking of people in love, another woman crew member is in a relationship with a big, long blond haired fella who appears to be the tough guy of the crew. This pair get down to it almost every five minutes, and make way for the odd bit of sex and tits to keep you from nodding off.
Things take a turn for the worse when a crew member goes missing and a search for him finds nothing. Then the worst news possible is found out, they are being hunted by a bizarre creature which looks more like an alien than a sea monster. It has made its way onto the rig and seems to enjoy chasing the crew around, and the crew actually seem to enjoy being chased. A cat and mouse game offers up no decent shocks, very little gore and no tension at all. The acting is so bad that it’s hard to care for anyone, and the creature itself is dreadful. I’m all for a man in a rubber suit, as long as it either looks great or looks as bad as it was intended. Don’t come along with a film like this and try and actually make it look good when you know full well its crap!
That’s the problem here, the makers fail to accept that unless your on a big budget, or have something really really special up your sleeve, you creature feature will be as bad as the rest of them. For me, that’s a creature features charm, the one’s they know they are rubbish, and openly embrace this turn out to be genius and highly like-able and enjoyable. Films like this that believe they’re better than they actually are just annoy me. The production values are all pretty good, the camera work at times is more than adequate, but the acting is terrible and the creature itself a complete waste of space. Accept that, and turn off the seriousness and want to be clever and I just might have liked this, but sadly, I hated it.