All Things to all Men (2012) Short Review – In Selected Cinemas Now

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Directed by:
Written by:
Starring: , ,

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 Running Time: 84 mins

Certificate: 15

Reviewer: David Gillespie – Official HCF Artist

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGcg3bk_OMI[/youtube]

It isn’t often that I am struggling to say anything positive about a film but with All Things to all Men I’ve had to scrape the barrel. Director George Isaac’s debut feature has gathered together a solid cast (Rufus Sewell doing his best with very little quality material), attractive London location shots and some reasonably executed action set pieces. Unfortunately there is nothing else of merit in this ham fisted and laborious excuse for a crime thriller.

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The plot revolves around the relationship between a crooked cop (Rufus Sewell), a crime boss (Gabriel Byrne) and mysterious gun for hire (Toby Stephens). Cue some tiresome blackmailing, double-crossing, dodgy deals, not so clever plot twists and a bank robbery. The dialogue is weak, tiresome and occasionally tapped from superior films (i.e. a conversation seeming remarkably close to one that appeared in the excellent LA Confidential).  By the time we reach the half-hearted gunfight between the main characters come the end of the movie, the audience will have either already left the theatre or be wishing these same characters will turn their weapons on them and put them out of their misery.

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As debut features go, All Things to all Men is no disaster as it has strong production values for a £3 million budget feature. However the incoherent plot and two dimensional characters do not promote any investment as to what is happening or where the story is going. My main attraction for seeing the film was the lovely poster design as shown above. This might be my favourite film poster of 2013 so I’ll add an extra half a star in my rating for that fact alone.

Rating: ★★★½☆☆☆☆☆☆

DAVID GILLESPIE
About DAVID GILLESPIE 182 Articles
Fighting for clean bathrooms and restrooms since 1974.

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