CARRIE: The Hughes Verdict

Carrie (2013)
Directed by: Kimberly Peirce
Written by: Lawrence D. Cohen, Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, Stephen King
Starring: Chloë Grace Moretz, Gabriella Wilde, Julianne Moore, Portia Doubleday

What is it all about?

A young girl named Carrie……oh hang on, you know the score……she’s got this kind of power…..which helps fight off the bullies in school……. if you still not sure…..there is an old book by the author Stephen King you could read, not forgetting a film in 1976…..and a sequel from the 90’s…..oh and please dont forget the first remake you could watch that was released in 2002………..

The Trailer:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcgOVzR9dHE[/youtube]

“CARRIE MK III IS JUST TOO DAMN SLICK AND PRETTY TO RISE ABOVE THE STANDARD OF AVERAGE.!”

In 1976 a young girl called Carrie White was bullied throughout all her school life. Finally she had a break and was asked to the Prom, she looked elegant and happy, feeling part of the crowd, until some psycho bitch tipped Pig Blood all over her, to mock and humiliate her, but Carrie had the last laugh. Unknown to the bullies, Carrie had what is called telekinesis, an ability to move things with her mind, which comes in handy when you in a murderous mood and just want to kill every bastard who has made your life a misery….

Uncanny 27 years later, a girl would you believe called Carrie White is going through the same old shit. Being mocked and teased by her fellow students, she also has telekinesis and has also been invited to the prom. There is pig blood in a bucket over her head just waiting to be emptied. How can the history repeat itself like this? How can there be two Carrie White’s going through the same old routine…..how can this be possible? Is the world such a crazy place…..

Editor Bat “Ahhh Hughesy, you do realize that you watching a remake right? Its not that there are two people called Carrie White, they have decided to remake De Palma’s 1976 classic”………..

Hughesy ” Whaaaaaaaattttttttt!!!!!!!!!! Not yet another remake???? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Editor Bat ” Shit guys, Hughesy is doing his Darth Vader impression again!”………………….

So yet another remake hits the market, this time the Stephen King story that has already been remade once before and in which the original was also given the utter dreadful but totally watchable sequel The Rage, that still has the most head scratching last scene that baffles the crap out of me!

The obvious answer to the question “Did the horror world really need yet another adaption of a young bullied girl getting her telekinesis revenge” is of course a “no!” but then the genre is awash with a lack of originality at the moment and after witnessing the dreadful trips back to the likes of Haddonfield, Elm Street and Camp Crystal Lake, it was only a matter of time before poor old Carrie White was drenched in blood one more time.

If I have to bore you with the plot then you one of the very few horror fans that have never seen the classic original tale. I myself personally put the term “classic” in a loose term as the 1976 film for me is not one of my favorite horror films. Its not that I see nothing wrong with the film, it was just when I was younger, I liked my horror films to be just a full on slash mode, there in one corner was the darkest eyes of Michael Myers and in the other was the delightful virgin Carrie White. Halloween was just a non stop thrill ride while for me, Carrie built up the plot and when the shit hit the fan it was all over. I expected and probably wanted more from the film, but I can rightly understand why its considered a classic and the final scene should be celebrated as it was one of the first films to introduce the “final jump”, a nerve racking shot that scared so many people when it first came out.

Carrie has been remade before though, way back in 2002 with Angela Bettis in the role. It was not met by much critical acclaim simply because when you think of Carrie, then you can not help but admire what Sissy Spacek portrayed in the original movie. Without mocking her in real life, Sissy was the kind of young girl who you would believe was bullied. She had this geekish unattractive weird look that made you believe why she was targeted by the bullies in her school year. Yet at the Prom itself, she blossomed into something marvellous. A young girl who was “awake” for the first time in her life, who believed that life was finally about to begin, only for a cruel twist to show its hand that rightly made her vengeful and play the role of the Grim Reaper.

In some extent Bettis in 2oo2 had the same kind of charactistic look which sort of helped her get through the role but for this 2013 version, the makers have got it wrong straight from the off with the casting of Chloe Grace Mortez, a young actress full of rich promise but just too damn pretty to even be in this role! Simply put, Mortez is a delight for the eyes and a mightily fine actress who tries through out this film to be a success but fails miserably as you simply cant believe that many guys at her school would look down at her. Ever since she first appeared to kick some ass in the role of Hit Girl, Mortez carries a wonderful screen presence, so its quite off putting to see her try to play this outcast weird character. It does not help either that for her to portray this character with a kind of “poor me!” look, all she does is tilt her head, pout and look away which really irritated the shit out of me through out the running time.

Getting the lead role wrong is just one of the many flaws in this utter dreadful remake that offered so much hope thanks to the appointment of Kimberley Peirce in the director’s role. Peirce who give the world the stunning Boys Don’t Cry, seemed the ideal choice to bring a more mature, adult horror vibe to the horror world, but instead she moves away from her grounded roots and offers us an MTV style vibe that may please the teen audience but pisses off the older generation who were desperate to see a good old horror given a modern adult touch.

Its quite surreal to think that in an age when torture/revenge porn is one of the “in” things within the horror genre that Lawrence D. Cohen and Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa who wrote this new draft could get it so hopelessly wrong. The film suffers from any lack of bite that makes the climatic show down such a massive flop of high proportions. Carrie does not really suffer much at all! Yes the infamous shower scene is back in all its glory and while it has the added ingredient of You Tube to add to the misery of Carrie, you could argue and say that Jim from American Pie suffered from a worst School internet humiliation when he “shot his bolt” twice in front of a live audience.

Carrie doesn’t suffer much to sympathize with her plight or into why she should turn into such a murderous bitch at the end. Yes she does get bullied, but for the majority of the film we see the bullies argue between themselves and its that point for me that this version wasted because we had a real good story-line base to build on here which is thrown away thanks to the need for being too slick and friendly for the market out there.

Most of Carrie’s pain comes from her own mum, a stand out performance by the always reliable Julianne Moore who not only steals the movie from everyone, but the entire film falls flat when she is not around. The best moments from this is when mother and daughter are in the same room and its only then you sense that a great film is bubbling away under the surface which only adds to the feeling of “wasted opportunity!” when the credits roll at the end!

The film can live and die by two things…. the lead casting, which is totally miscast and of course the final showdown which you hope would show some dark bleak touches that would add more credability to the whole thing. Sadly once again what we have is a sequence filtered with crap CGI effects that include some slow mo touches that even John Woo way back in the late 90’s would have been proud of!.

It says it all when remake’s like I Spit On Your Grave gets the thumbs up by horror fans for getting the ” revenge angle” right, but the ultimate pay back horror film Carrie, settles for a final twenty minute fest of computer generated thrills that comes across like a cross breed between Final Destination the countless other rip offs that have littered the market over recent times!

Carrie 2013 is yet another pointless remake to add the ever expanding list that once again showcases the lack of originality that is coming from Hollywood. Just when you thought the remake could sink to new depths after the shocking treatment handed out to the icons of Freddy, Michael and Jason, poor old Carrie now suffers from a wafer thin retread that offers either nothing new or very little!

Long time HCF readers will know of my hatred for this remake lark and I am not going to bore anyone with yet another moan but once again all I could feel is yet another film full of ripe rich promise that failed miserably in every single department. As soon as the pig blood was emptied over poor old Carrie and you bare witness to the awful CGI effects of the blood gently rising from her skin, my heart sunk as I knew that everyone involved here had got everything wrong.

To make a film about a bullied young girl with special powers who gets her revenge so boring is a shocking mistake, but to make a film in the franchise even worse than the notorious 90’s sequel is unforgivable…..

If they wanted to punish the poor girl at the prom then they should have forgotten about the Pig Blood and made her suffer the fate of watching this awful movie over and over, because make no mistake this is a torrid movie……

Carrie White deserved better!…….

Rating: