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Directed by Robert Rodriguez

With a cast to die for (Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Jeff Fahey, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin and Danny Trejo), this was gonna be a good one.
Danny Trejo stars as Machete, a federal officer in Mexico who’s one mission is to kill the drug and criminal boss, Steven Seagal, who has kidnapped a young woman. Disobeying orders to halt or wait for backup, Machete goes on a bloody rampage to rescue the girl but he has been lured into a trap by Steven Seagal. Steven threatens to kill him if he doesn’t stay out of his business.

Fast forward and Machete is in Texas where Robert De Niro is trying to get re-elected as an immigratent hating Senator. An underground society of illegal immigrants, called The Network, help each other to fit into society without getting found out. With the elections looming, tension rises from both sides, Machete gets caught in the middle of a intricate plot to assassinate the Senator. Fun, sex and death ensue!

First off, I think Danny Trejo is the coolest ex con-turned-actor ever. I’ve been a fan since the days of Desperado with his knives. He’s a scarred badass with the thin black tash and the sombrero senorita on his chest. Whats not to love? And in Machete, he is given the lead role that was made for him.

There’s blood, guts, guns, sexy senoritas either naked, topless or bikini clad, nearly always brandishing a weapon. It’s got wit, its got Cheech Marin as a priest and Danny gets to sample all the lovely ladies. Daryl Sabara also turns up (Spy Kids boy). You know its a Rob Rod movie when Danny and Cheech are involved though. Like Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, Uma and Quentin, the partnerships go hand in hand. Plus, Danny is Robert’s second cousin, apparently.

This is a fun film, which should be taken as much. The story is pretty straightforward, layered with some twists but you don’t watch it solely for the story. You watch for the action and the death. Rodriguez has got a good little film in this. It’ll never reach the highlights like El Mariachi and Desperado did, but then again, it’s a different sort of film.
Take a pinch of Once Upon A Time In Mexico and Planet Terror with a splash of its own originality, and you have Machete.

Rating: ★★★★☆

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About Bat 4385 Articles
I love practical effects, stop-motion animation and gore, but most of all I love a good story! I adore B-movies and exploitation films in many of their guises and also have a soft spot for creature features. I review a wide range of media including movies, TV series, books and videogames. I'm a massive fan of author Hunter S. Thompson and I enjoy various genre of videogames with Kingdom Hearts and Harvest Moon two of my all time favs. Currently playing: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, Yakuza Zero and Mafia III.