My Soul To Take (18)
Running Time: 107 minutes
Director: Wes Craven
Writer: Wes Craven
Starring: Max Thieriot, John Magaro, Denzel Whitaker
“Wes Craven returns”, three words guaranteed to get any horror fan frothing at the mouth in anticipation to see what the legend can do next. I tell you this, next time I see those three words, it will be met with a massive, heartfelt “meh”, more than likely followed by “piss off you old fart!”. But, saying that, early reports are Scream 4 is very good indeed, so hopefully that film will restore my faith in the old man. As for now, after watching this sorry excuse of a horror, i have no faith. Craven, you have royally fucked up here with a dreadful film that feels like it was directed by a child wanting to be Wes Craven. There are no moments of Craven’s often genius ideas, no scares and a cast so irritating you end up praying some fucker will kill them off soon, very soon. This film made me realise two things about my life, I am getting old and it would seem i am completely out of touch with the youth of today. Either that, or its Craven who’s out of touch. Either way, i couldn’t connect with any of this sorry bunch of morons.
A serial killer called The Ripper is shot during his arrest and is taken by ambulance to hospital. It would seem he had multiple personalities, but because some black police woman says where she comes from its known as multiple souls, guess this Ripper has a few other beings inside him. There’s a great script here, as a policeman shoots the Ripper stating “that’s for shut the fuck up”. Man, I nearly choked on my food in embarrassment! Anyway, the ambulance crashes and low and behold, the Ripper (great name by the way, highly original) gets away. During this pathetic opening for a film, Craven clearly wants to grab his audience and shock them much like he did so brilliantly with Scream. There is one of those, oh he’s not dead, or, oh it IS him scenes after another during the first ten minutes and far from being clever, it’s very very annoying. Moving forward 16 years, it would seem that nine babies born on the night the Ripper went missing have a possible connection with him, and The Ripper returns on their birthdays to take their souls. Oh it’s so tiresome and predictable. Celebrating the fact the killer wants them dead, the nine teenagers gather for a drunken party on a beach to summon the Ripper to come and kill them. However, if one of them can kill him instead then everyone’s a winner!
Oh the cast irritate, they really do. Those kinds of college kids that you just want to either throw rocks at or run over in your car. A fake Ripper turns up, the guy expected to kill him literally pisses his pants and the police turn up, followed by cries of “Police brutality!!!”. Really? The police haven’t even got out their car yet. We’re not even 15 minutes in and there is so much to dislike about this film. You can guess how it pans out: a Ripper really does appear and start hunting them one by one. The Ripper himself looks quite cool, but its clear Craven is hoping for the new Freddy Krueger as the Ripper delivers one painfully unfunny line in a deep voice after another. In a big punch up with one of the teens, the Ripper cries out “You fuckin piece of shit!!!”. Come on, would Freddy or Pinhead ever dare say anything like that??
I really can’t be bothered to bore you with anymore details really. This is a week horror; it lacks ideas and most certainly lacks originality. There is absolutely no one in the cast to connect with, the scares are badly timed and poorly delivered, the story is predictable as fuck, and fair play The Ripper is a nice creation, but he’s wasted in this user friendly, clichéd and embarrassing new franchise wannabe. Craven, you should be ashamed of yourself.
[pt-filmtitle]My Soul To Take[/pt-filmtitle]