Joy Ride 3: Road Kill (2014)
Directed by: Declan O'Brien
Written by: Declan O'Brien
Starring: Ben Hollingsworth, Jesse Hutch, Ken Kirzinger, Kirsten Prout
The Trailer
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gCJCYjEOFg[/youtube]
What’s it all about?
A bunch of dumb teenagers on their way to a car race, take a short cut and manage to piss off a man driving a mean ass truck. That guy…….Rusty Nail……… Now where is his Candy Cane???
THE HUGHES VERDICT
The Noughties delivered two horror films that really should have had better sequels, Cabin Fever and Road Kill.
Too confuse those not in the know, the original Joy Ride had its title changed over here in the land of Britain to that of Road Kill, a film that starred the late Paul Walker (yes that one!) and was co-written by a certain J J Abrams, way before he boldly went where no man has gone before. Like Cabin Fever, the film had an atrocious sequel that not many people know of because it came out over here and carried its original title Joy Ride and now to confuse people more, the third which is so far is only released on Region 1, carries the title Joy Ride 3 but with the sub title of Road Kill next too it….
OK! Now I need to have a little break as that just confused to shit out of me…..
Where was I?
It pains me that two brilliant films like Cabin Fever and Joy Ride (I will keep it to that title for the reminder of the review) have failed to have the franchise backing that they deserve. Both Sequels of that flesh eating virus have sucked beyond belief (Part 2 being one of the worst in many years) and sadly it hurts even more to see such a brilliant creation like Rusty Nail reduced to a boring figure head and having to appear in awful shit like this.
If you thought Cabin Fever 2 reached a level of straight to DVD nightmare, wait until you see this disaster.
The beauty of the original was the fact we did not know who Rusty Nail was. The evil in front of us were two things, his truck and his voice (brilliantly done then by Ted Levine) . All we saw was glimpses of this guy, not enough too see what he actually looked like, which made the entire film full of suspense and downright pulse-racing. Rusty could have been anyone. That was the SCARIEST THING!…
While the first sequel started the process of moving away from the character, it still kept his essence, but this new chapter…….blows it all out of the water.
While I hate being harsh too those who create these films, I must ask…..did Declan O’Brien watch the original film at all before he embarked on writing and directing this movie?
We start with a sort of semi remake of the original film and looking back, probably the best part of the film. A drugged up couple decide to have sex in front of us before the female starts screaming and acting bad because she wants more drugs and the guy just hasn’t got any. Instead he decides to get the girl too tease a trucker into coming to the hotel room where his grand plan is to attack him, steal his money….and get more drugs. For a start how these two have a walkie – talkie in their hands is something you just can’t sit down and think about otherwise you just realise even more how stupid this whole film is.
The clever part is this, the naked woman uses the name “Candy Cane”, something which will delight fans for about three minutes as it simply reminds you of how good the original was, but that feeling of joy comes crashing down as there is a knock on the door and Rusty Nail turns up. Yippee!!!! We should all shout….but actually every fan will probably scream “What the f……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
WE ACTUALLY SEE RUSTY NAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes I write that again…..
WE ACTUALLY SEE RUSTY NAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t even explain too you how I felt at that moment. The entire best thing of the character and what made the original sooooooooooooooo brilliant is ruined by a franchise killing decision that leaves me baffled and in despair.
Of course the grand plan by these drugged up couple really doesn’t go according to plan and before we know it, heads and limbs are flying across the screen and its then you realise that the grand thinking of this third Rusty Nail film is to forget about what the fans want and like and just fill the screen full of blood and guts to please the blood hounds.
In another words…..a lazy horror sequel that gives horror sequels a bad name!
The plot itself is something that you can join the dots with. Half way through this film I had to check my own pulse too see if I was still alive as I realised that I was nearly half way through this film and I still hadn’t got any of the characters names and even writing this review, I can’t remember not one of them apart from the fact why they end up being Rusty Nail’s new meat! The dumb bunch are on their way to a Fast & Furious kind of race and decide to take a short cut despite being warned that they “will all diiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!”…by a guy who clearly models himself on Ralph from Friday 13th!
Ignoring the best advice they have ever had, they take the route, come up against Rusty and then there is blood….plenty of it!
To sum it all up, characters do stupid dumb things, Rusty Nail, played by former Jason – Ken Kirzinger spouts some terrible awful one lines, there are car chases and crashes and a real weird music score that sounds so out of place and laughable that I actually thought I was watching a comedy piss take, and before you lose the will to live….it all leads to a quite possible Joy Ride 4…..
Rusty Nail is back…… but not as we know him and certainly not for the better…………………..
Rating: 
I’ll give you a verdict, it’s wank!!!!