The Neon Dead (2015)
Directed by: Torey Haas
Written by: Torey Haas
Starring: D. Dylan Schettina, Greg Garrison, Marie Barker
The title of this movie throws up a lot of warning signs. Maybe it’s the fatigue of non stop zombie stories in mainstream media, or the technology angle which suggests that this will be a wacky comedy. Both ideas are pretty exhausting to think about. It’s also unclear if the name is an attempt to confused it with a certain Danish film maker’s psychological horror release from the same year. It was previously called Invasion of the Undead which is more generic. Fortunately the makers are a little less cynical than this and they have a few interesting ideas up their sleeves, lending this all a likeable quality. This is a film about home made monster masks, sword duels and grinning creatures with flashing eyes and torch light smiles. Let’s take a look at how this all works out as full length feature.
Allison (Marie Barker) has a pretty swell deal living in big house away from the city. Although her mother keeps calling on the phone she’s inherited this place all to herself. It has way too much space for a single job seeker to practically use, but life is good. Or so it seems. It soon becomes apparent that she’s sharing the place with an uninvited guest. An undead visitor is lurking inside and it’s decided to try out her en suite bathroom. The walking corpse seems to be styling its hair, and it needs a lot of conditioner. Allison soon stumbles across this and it begins to attack her, but this is interrupted by a local girl scout troupe knocking her door. Coincidentally one of its members knows just who to call in the case of ghoul infestation.
Desmond (Greg Garrison) is on call as a paranormal exterminator, though he seems to be spending his time at a day job playing videogames. The would-be business man is desperate for both cash and a girlfriend, so along with walking encyclopedia Jake (D. Schettina) they head over to check out the problem. Armed with a trunk of occult weapons (and a few copies of Fangoria) they will soon have to find new ways of fighting this evil as it begins to grow in the woods nearby. Apparently the walking dead are a recurring problem lately but the duo’s methods are not sophisticated. Allison certainly isn’t entirely impressed with their service or the thousand dollar invoice Desmond is asking for. But they have a long night ahead of them as things start to go awry.
There isn’t a huge amount of lore involved but the zombies are actually possessed corpses. They’re being used by an entity from another dimension; Z’athax The Pale King. Some are killed with table salt, others seem to go down with basic weapon hits. This isn’t to say there’s not enough exposition involved. In fact there’s far too much. Allison’s house once belonged to one of her ancestors, a man called Drake who dabbled in necromancy. Some of his servants are still hanging out in the basement. Flashbacks are a real pacing issue whether they show the rituals that caused this problem or the sinister forces Drake was appeasing. It’s at odds with the more straightforward aspects of this story in which the bumbling leads try and figure this all out. A few lines about evil cults and supernatural daggers would have been fine.
As things progress more monsters are revealed. Nearby our heroes come across some kind of medieval ruin (it’s only a model) where the big bad has been hiding out. The film for the most part has a garish green and red look to it, but it helps the zombie effects which look far better in the dark. The leader of this rotting horde has a different design from the green faced skulls of the others, he’s more of a grinning monster with a ghastly Chelsea smile. There are a lot of influences to count but this one seems to be The Nightmare Before Christmas. The novel moments like this keep it all interesting when other areas are lacking creativity. If only more time was spent developing the castle location – Allison’s living room isn’t really exciting enough.
Things get sillier as the story moves on, especially during moments where Drake’s former slaves are fed crisps in an effort to make them more helpful. Salt apparently breaks spells when the plot demands it. There’s even a good zombie versus bad eyed zombie face off. A sword fight somewhere between Captain Kronos and Scott Pilgrim also manages to keep things interesting before the climax. It’s not fantastic in terms of set pieces or staging, but the effort is welcome. A big dumb demonic finale adds extra creature effects which are welcome, even if more exposition starts to interrupt the shoe string spectacle. During all of this the score ranges from effective 1980s synth tunes to TV movie type material, but towards the end it’s dropped in favour of straightforward rock music.
It’s often a random mixture of ideas like this. Ultimately this describes the whole package when so many zany elements are played against various mundane tropes. Some of the acting is stiff, and some of it is acceptable. It’s got a certain amount of humour, a certain amount of craft and a certain number of rough edges and moments that need paring down or rethinking. There are several moments that should really have been dropped or rewritten to help them feel less disjointed. The girl scouts, the mysterious animal deaths, and Allison’s pestering mother needed to have a pay-off. But while these issues and the overall pacing often make it feel uneven, the film as a whole at least has charm on its side.
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