Conan The Barbarian (1982)
Directed by: John Milius
Written by: Edward Summer, John Milius, Oliver Stone, Robert E. Howard
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gerry Lopez, James Earl Jones, Sandahl Bergman
USA
AVAILABLE ON BLU-RAY, DVD and DIGITAL
RUNNING TIME: 131 mins / 129 mins / 126 mins
REVIEWED BY: Dr Lenera
It is the dawn of time, in a world that existed before recorded history. Young Conan’s village is raided, destroyed by men carrying a standard of two snakes entwined led by a certain Thulsa Doom, and his parents killed. He spends the rest of his childhood in slavery, then as a young man becomes a gladiator, though a gladiator still kept chained up until he’s unleashed into a pit for the pleasure of baying crowds. Eventually he’s turned loose, having maybe become too dangerous for his employers. He sets off to find Doom, soon to be joined by a fellow warrior, Subotai, whom he saves from captivity. In the city of Zamora, he learns that a deadly snake cult is responsible for mysterious towers springing up everywhere. Hoping to find both great treasure and a clue to his parent’s killers, the two set out to rob the tower in the city, but encounter a warrior woman, Valeria, also out to to rob the tower….
Making my way through Arrow Video’s fabulous Blu-ray boxset of 4k restorations of the two Conan films [there were only two] made me revisit my really old reviews and say a bit more about them, not to mention feel so very pleased that my player[s] can support multi-region; it’s worth pointing out that the set was intended to be released in the UK as well as North America but it didn’t happen due to the fact that our wonderful censors the BBFC would be obliged by law [yes by law] to still cut the shots of horse falls done by tripping horses in a method which is not just illegal to do here [which is understandable] but illegal to see. Even before I saw either film I was a fan of Robert E. Howard’s creation, initially from comics rather than books which I came across later, which goes some way to explaining while I wasn’t that taken with Conan The Barbarian. I viewed Conan The Destroyer first, which is closer to the faster, lighter tone of the comics. Of course I approved of all that sex and violence in Barbarian, but it seemed rather slow, disappointingly sombre, and downplayed the fantasy elements, with far more swords than sorcery. Yet I kept being drawn back to it, and soon realised what a quality movie it was. I remain unconvinced that the simple “cult” plot, invented though there are elements of Howard stories incorporated, was the best with which to introduce Conan, and Schwarzenegger’s Conan isn’t Howard’s creation at all. Instead of an intelligent, agile and talkative hero, we have a strong, silent and slightly dumb one. But director John Milius not being content with just making a cinematic version of Howard’s stories, but a good movie full stop does seem like a wise decision when viewed with older eyes. It has real conviction, richness and an almost operatic approach to the material, things lacking in the many imitations that followed even if many of those were great fun, yet it doesn’t seem that serious when viewed now, with the occasional bits of humour probably being intended.
There had been several aborted plans for a Conan film until producer Dino De Laurentiis bought the rights and Oliver Stone wrote a hugely ambitious script set in the future. When the budget was ludicrously expensive, Stone relocated it to the distant past and scaled things down; then Milius came on board and his rewrite threw out much of what Stone had written. Schwarzenegger, whether unintentionally or intentionally, insulted De Laurentiis by asking him “What is a little man like you doing with such a big desk”? De Laurentiis wanted him replaced, telling him “Nobody can understand you”. Arnie replied “Nobody can understand you either”. Milius secured him by saying to De Laurentiis “If we didn’t have Arnold we’d have to build him”. Filming took place mainly in Spain in some of the same locations that Sergio Leone used for his ‘Dollars’ trilogy. Schwarzenegger had his back ripped open by one of the wolves chasing him and was knocked down a mound of rocks which further injured his back, while co-star Sandahl Bergman [Valeria] had her index finger sliced by a sword; “Valeria would never let that happen again” said Milius. The blood ran out so a mixture of vodka and fruit juice was created; however, De Laurentis disliked the huge amount of violence, causing friction between him and Milius; he removed much of it. Also cut from the 146 min first cut were a fight with a female gladiator, Subotai’s slaying of a monster at the top of the Tower of Serpents, and Conan chopping off a pickpocket’s arm in a bazaar. Universal removed a quite deep conversation between Conan and Subotai just before the final battle, and much of the last scene; the latter remained intact in some non-US versions and the former eventually made it into a DVD release. The UK version lost some horse falls, causing the end battle to suffer obvious gaps in the music, plus some thrusting from a sex scene, but it surprisingly still got a ’15’ rating. It was a hit despite mostly poor reviews, and turned Mr. Universe into a fully fledged movie star.
It’s kind of funny that the opening credits show the creation of a sword which several minutes later is taken away by the main villain and never seen again. The first scene, of the young Conan and his dad, has the latter tell him “Only in steel can you trust”. Riders attack the village and Dad gets an axe in the back before being savaged by wolves, then we get the first of the film’s many dialogue-less scenes. As the boy watches, Doom gets off his horse and is given the afore-mentioned sword, Conan’s mother lifts up her sword and the two stare at each other for ages before Doom seems to hypnotise her into lowering her sword, but then turns away and looks like he doesn’t want to do it before he decapitates her, the head falling from above , then the body falling off to the side. This was a heavily cut down moment, but it plays powerfully in its final edit, with the music echoing every beat. Conan becomes a slave, and a montage shows him pushing “the Wheel of Pain”, the first revelation of Schwarzenegger as he lifts his face up, being a terrific introduction to the adult Conan. Another montage, full of brutality, shows Conan as a captive gladiator, as well as being “given” one of no doubt many women he can get pleasure from; being in a cage in full view of anyone who walked by, he covers up the nearly naked lady before obviously having sex with her. What a gent. And we’ve still had hardly any dialogue since the very beginning, which is impressive, though a narrator at certain moments does annoy; the voice we hear though turns out to be the voice of a later ally, though was originally intended to be that of Conan.
A freed Conan falls into a warrior’s tomb, where he retrieves an ancient sword as the skeleton seems to partly come to life in an eerie moment; this is one of many scenes that can disappoint, as it originally did me, because the fantasy element is toned down – can’t Conan engage in a fight with the skeleton? – yet which can be more easily appreciated when one is older. Conan wanders, and we think that he may have had many dangerous adventures before he encounters a prophetic witch in a hut; he wants information, and she wants sex in return. This is another scene which belongs in a horror movie, with her turning into a demon while in the midst of passion; the sudden change of lighting from yellowish [due to the fire] to blue is a simple but effective device. Conan sees thief and archer Subotai chained up and frees him; the two roam the land in yet another montage, and yet all these montages work extremely well in carrying the expansive story along, though things do slow down considerably around the middle. Following the witch’s advice, Conan and Subotai go to the city of Zamora to seek out Doom. There, they meet female brigand Valeria, and raid the Tower of Serpents, stealing jewels and other valuables from a shrine, and slaying a giant snake in the process. After escaping with their loot, the thieves celebrate, and Conan has sex with Valeria. Again, this film understands the power of silence; the two don’t speak, but she trying to take a jewel from him, he stopping her before placing it in her hand, tells us all we need to know. Yes, portions of it are leisurely, but there’s also a lot of economy. The three are captured and brought to King Osric, who requests they rescue his daughter, Princess Yasmina, now a zealot in Doom’s cult, for a handsome reward. Subotai and Valeria refuse to take up the quest, but Conan, motivated by his desire for vengeance against Doom, sets off alone.
Milius was responsible for the “cult” stuff which also allows him to jibe at hippies, and give James Earl Jones a role where we believe he can hyonotise. It’s interesting that it’s he who tells Conan the answer to the Riddle of Steel, and he’s kinda right when he tells Conan, in a particularly well written scene, that he’s his father; Doom’s actions led to him being who he is, steered his whole life up to now, though the script seems to suggest that determination and will are the true strengths, not physicality. Jones also gives the impression that he can do lots of magic, though despite the presence of at least two wizards in this film, we don’t see much. However, some conjured animated mound demons are effective; indeed the special effects remain good throughout, including a rather too quickly dispatched giant snake. Doom’s later transformation into another large snake is superbly handled, largely just through good editing. For many, a crucified Conan biting a buzzard is the most memorable bit, showing the essence if Conan; he will always fight to survive. But the climactic sword fights are superbly staged, the often very bloody hacking, slicing and dicing brilliantly choreographed, the actors carrying out their movements with grace – and that includes Schwarzenegger. And, As Conan, Subotai and the nameless character who’s called Akiro in the sequel face off against their enemies, we love Conan’s attitude to his deity, if Crom won’t help him he cries “To hell with you”. In a film with three sex scenes and unnumerable bloody deaths, perhaps the most extreme moment is when we see what the cult is really up to, cannibalism; despite lighting changes to obscure some of the details, we can still make stuff out, especially in the new Blu-Ray, though “pea and hand soup” was always very visible, and one tends to chuckle, in a film with more humour than it’s given credit for. A stoned Conan punching out a camel is often mentioned, but there are other laughs which seem intended, like a villain weeping for his dead giant snake.
Milius, clearly influenced by Akira Kurosawa, Sergio Leone and John Ford, made a film which has a particular point of view on the story it tells. Schwarzenegger seems uncomfortable in some scenes and surprisingly good in others, the afore-mentioned chat between Conan and Subotai being a good example of the latter. It was wise to have him often surrounded by people as big as or bigger than him. One interesting thing that Milius does a lot is to show him thinking. Bergman is a fantastic warrior woman, the perfect lady for Conan; you can see why he’d fall for her. Max Von Sydow’s Osric is only in one acene; we were intended to see him murdered, but after the actor playing his killer kept missing the spot where blood was supposed to come out, he eventually struck the right area but this time too much blood gushed out, so the scene was abandoned. Ron Cobb’s production design superbly evokes a variety of historical periods while never emphasising a particular one, while Poledouris’s superb score is one of the greatest ever composed for a fantasy movie. With lots of scenes without dialogue and some seemingly edited around the music, the film almost relies on the score at times to tell the story. The rousing main theme is incorporated into loads of cues but usually in different forms so repetition never sets, the choral Carl Off-inspired choral material for the big action scenes is incredibly powerful, and the love theme is beautilful, in a score also crammed with great unrelated passages, like the gorgeous music for Conan’s search for Doom. There’s a lot in Conan The Barbarian which is extremely praise-worthy, and critics tended to miss many of its strong points because of the genre it belongs to, though that’s been partly redressed recently. Passionate, convincing and uncompromising, if just a bit more action was added it would be almost perfect of its type.
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