HACKED TO PIECES- A View On All This Week's News





                           HACKED TO PIECES- A View On All This Week’s News

                                A weekly look by Sub-Editor Ross Hughes

                                                          Edition One

 So this is it!  HorrorCultFilms or HCF for short is now up and running.  What started as a fun friendly site for mates to post on as become something serious, our ambition? to become one of the leading voices of the film world, a tall order but with hard work and loyal readers by our side, then anything is possible.  Talking about loyal readers, if you are reading this site then “thank you!” hopefully this is a start of a beautiful friendship in which you will share our journey with us, the up’s and downs!, the joy and tears!

But do not panic!  This site did start has a friendly joke and even though its gone all serious, our Queen Bee Bat made sure we watched The Social Network on repeat so we all won’t end up in court suing each other for legal rights.  Bat made us sign in our own blood that we would never do that and as long has she keeps supplying the coffee we should all be happy. 

What you reading now is my weekly news section which will keep you informed of what is happening in the world of HCF, please do not forget that while we have official HCF critics to write film reviews, we would all love to read what you think of the last flim you watched, so write up and post in on our member section.

Do not forget our Poll either to what film you are looking forward to seeing the most, and also our competition to win 1 of 3 Bad Mofo Leather Wallets, courtesy of Prezzybox, details are on our home page!

24 GETS A MOVIE, GET THE SICKBAG READY! 

So it seems that Jack Bauer is to be found.  The much hard man, currently on the run for what seems the 600th time is set to return in a 24 movie scheduled for 2012.  Of course due to the fascination of all things 3D, expect a title of 24 3D which seems like some kind vodka drink that all underage teens are knocking back in the local park.  The question is that all fans are asking is how can they get the real 24 hour angle in a 90 minute film?  With the writers determined to make the film bold and original maybe they will actually make a movie that lasts for the full day.  Can you imagine sitting in the cinema for all that time.  Never mind a sore ass, what about if it was in 3D?  I mean serious Motion sickness.  While Jack says “dammit” for the 90th time, all fans will be vomiting in their popcorn box and who can stomach Chloe’s face in full 3D glory.  I mean the sour faced heroine who hates to smile is bad enough at home in lovely HD but when coming towards you out of the screen you be damning the day 3D became so popular.
 
To film a 24 style plot in movie time is impossible if you think about it.  24 needs it usual cliche to keep the fans happy.  There has to be an explosion in the first 5 minutes, Jack who has vanished for over a year is suddenly found and thrust back into the fore, the words “dammit!” needs to be repeated on a loop, CTU must be targeted and blown up.  The new addition of the team is obviously a mole and there must be someone on the president team who is nothing but a complete dick!  Then of course you have the most irritating character of Jack’s daughter Kim who can not go to the toilet without getting kidnapped or threatened by the bar of soap.  Of course we then have to witness this girl running around in panic while forgetting to put on a bra! which for some fans would be worth the 3D element alone, talk about eye-popping!
 
All this needs to be fitted into a script that is demanding originality, but if they can bring back a character who died in season 5 and then suddenly re-appeared a season later, nothing is impossible for the 24 crack team of writers.  

WONDER WOMAN GOES PORNO?
Dear me, why is it when I look at this picture of the new Wonder Woman I can not help but think “Porn!”  She really does look like she has just stepped out of the new Flesh Gordon film or just walked off the set from Orgazmo Part II, because let’s face it, she looks like a porn parody.  I really never understood this Super hero, I mean she can fly but has a jet!!!!  ok has a  kid I liked the spin she did when she transformed but then I liked the bit when Bucks Fizz whipped their skirts off on Eurovision, so that says a lot for my young taste.
 
This new updated look seems to have come from the 60’s, in which I half expected Adam West to co-star as Batman.  The end of the day if they are not going to treat this much loved franchise with deep respect, then you can see a very much short lived life for this upcoming TV series. Wonder Woman, more like Camp Lady!!!!!  

 

SLAYER GETS SLAYED BY HER OWN FRANCHISE
 
When it was announced that there was to be a Buffy reboot there was an outcry.  No Spike, No Angel, No Willow or Giles, this idea seemed the most idiotic of them all since they decided to re-make Michael Myers without a mask!  In recent weeks though there has been a sound of silence from the die-hard fans and that reason alone can be traced back to its own original series.  Maybe unknown to some fans, while the series ended a few years back, the show lived on in comic book land, an official approach which Joss Wheldon approved of.  This seemed a good idea but recently it ended for good and the finale actually caused more damage than good!  For months there has been high anticipation to who in fact “Twilight” was. a new big bad that had fans foaming at the mouth.  When it was revealed to be Angel there were gasps of shock.  Not because this was great and a well written twist, more like a deranged let down!  Look at it this way, its like watching Scream 4 and seeing some character at the beginning holding a knife, our first thought would be “killer!” but then “too obvious!” only to be revealed it was.  Every fan thought it would be too easy for it to be Angel and when after months of build up it was revealed you could feel the air of frustration.  Buffy in comic was all ready on dodgy ground with the wrong love plot between Xander and Dawn-yuck!- and then they finally climbed the mountain of crazy when they had Angel kill the much loved Giles in brutal fashion.
 
The sound of new found silence is because some fans are now wondering whether a re-boot is actually not that bad of an idea, because Buffy the one we all know and love died a long time ago, the move to comic book should be tagged “Jump The Shark! a fitting tribute to a franchise that died from its own hands!

WHY US BRITS ARE NOTHING BUT TELEVISION SNOBS!!!
 
The best news of the week has to be the BBC’s decision to award Being Human a 4th season to the joy of its 1 million viewers!  I say that again…..”to its 1 MILLION VIEWERS!  I find that staggering when you consider how many tune into the likes of Dancing On Ice to see so called celebrities trying to skate.  Being Human along with Misfits are one of the best TV programmes that this country has ever produced and yet they criminally get ignored, stuck on satellite channels when they should be thrust straight into limelight.  While I can blame the Broadcasters to an extent, I also have to point the finger at us, the viewers who at the moment do not realise what is right under our noses.  Take Misfits for example, its the most original Superhero serial for many of years.  Adult oriented with some wonderful characters, it has gained a cult following but still yearns for that appreaction it desperately needs!  It has now been over looked by the more glossy and American No Ordinary Family which is gaining better ratings, so why?  Well its because its American based that the viewers assume it has to be better.  Us British are not capable of doing anything good with its rubber monsters and stiff lip, Americans have the money and the effects to make it all worthwhile.  This way of thinking is totally way off base though.  Misfits is damn good, totally original and most of all a blast.  It does not need CGI or mind blowing effects simply because it relies on good story-telling.  
 
Right now as you read this there is a bidding war for the rights of Being Human USA, an American copy of our British hit.  By all accounts and even the original creators have put on record, that its a well done redo in which they get the balance and story exactly right.  If this ends up on Sky One, can you imagine how many people will tune in.  More than than 1 million our counterpart gets, simply for the reasons above!  Will it be any better, of course not, but because it stars that bloke from Smallville then the snob in us all gets the better of us and we all tune in.
 
Which is a shame, because we are to easy too criticise endless repeats and reality shows, but when something does come along which is bold and fresh, we choose to ignore it, when we should be applauding our country for its ambition!

WHEN WILL IT EVER END?

Talking about that bloke from Smallville, that series is all set to enter its 10th run and I can not think of another show that has not deserved such a long run.  Buffy finished at the 7th season, 24 ended on day 8 and I scream with despair when I think about Angel and most of all Firefly.  Smallville starter faster than a speed of bullet, but by the time it reached its 5th season it seriously lost its way.  The plots have constantly let down the loyal viewers, just look at the awful resolution of that Doomsday story, and its been limping along to its closure for the past few years.  With Tom Welling looking way too old now, its been said that this is the last run, but then how many times have that been said?

WORDS HEARD IN THE HCF OFFICE THIS MONTH: “I thought at first you were posting a picture of your bare arse!”

AND FINALLY……..Why does Scream 4 look tired and old before I have even watched it!

Until next time……………….


 
 

 

Ross Hughes
About Ross Hughes 1656 Articles

Since my mother sat me down at the age of five years of age and watched a little called Halloween, I have been hooked on horror. There is no other genre that gets me excited and takes me to the edge of entertainment. I watch everything from old, new, to cheap and blockbusters, but I promise all my readers that I will always give an honest opinion, and I hope whoever reads this review section, will find a film that they too can love as much as I do! Have fun reading, and please DO HAVE NIGHTMARES!!!!!!

3 Comments

  1. Brilliant work mate, love it. Is 24 really being thought of as being in 3D? In Jack’s own words, DAMMIT!!!!! On a side note about Jack, wouldn’t he make an awesome sat-nav voice, i was thinking it when driving to Cardiff yesterday, “Next left, you’re running out of time!!!” Or, if you miss a turn he would say “DAMMIT!!” , you could get an even angrier Jack asking “Who’s driving?!!!” The possibilities are endless!

  2. Brilliant work mate, love it. Is 24 really being thought of as being in 3D? In Jack’s own words, DAMMIT!!!!! On a side note about Jack, wouldn’t he make an awesome sat-nav voice, i was thinking it when driving to Cardiff yesterday, “Next left, you’re running out of time!!!” Or, if you miss a turn he would say “DAMMIT!!” , you could get an even angrier Jack asking “Who’s driving?!!!” The possibilities are endless!

  3. Brilliant work mate, love it. Is 24 really being thought of as being in 3D? In Jack’s own words, DAMMIT!!!!! On a side note about Jack, wouldn’t he make an awesome sat-nav voice, i was thinking it when driving to Cardiff yesterday, “Next left, you’re running out of time!!!” Or, if you miss a turn he would say “DAMMIT!!” , you could get an even angrier Jack asking “Who’s driving?!!!” The possibilities are endless!

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