HUGHESY'S EYE ON THE TELLY: Christmas Day Special……..

After the Prezzies are open and everyone has feasted on the Turkey and started to drink until there is no more left, there is only one more thing left to do on Christmas Day and that is to turn on the telly and having reviewed the delightful Doctor Who it was time for my eyes to switch on what else Christmas Day had to offer on the box that all your furniture point at!
The night started with my eyes on the BBC with their offering of a sequel to a critically acclaimed hit from 2009………….

The Guffalo’s Child which was once again the perfect showing for families everywhere.  Based on the book written by Children’s Laureate Julia Donaldson and illustrated by Axel Scheffler was 27 minutes of pure joy that had me glued to my seat but that was only because I literally was thanks to my daughter’s creative set was left unattended and I sat on a glue bottle that shot all up my leg and over my brand new Christmas jumper.  Luckily the show managed to subside my anger because it was visually perfect and a delightful treat which had my children enchanted through out and goes to show when the schedules actually think of their audience they do actually get it right.  With Doctor Who then keeping me further entertained the only time I ventured over to ITV to see what they were offering was when….(and I SKY + this one guys!) to see the usual soap offerings….

Not so much joy over on Emmerdale though which copied the Walford tradition of keeping everything miserable.  Seriously I just wanted to knock back another bottle of Vodka because the Christmas spirit was well and truly vanished with scenes of Amy trying her best to show how not to bath a child to all new mother’s out there.  I thought for a moment ITV was showing the horror film Baby Blues because Amy nearly drowning her child was up there with “mother” of all horror scenes but while I waited for the blood to flow the writers knew they could not have a dead baby glaring back on the screen and thankfully super Val came in and rescued the day………
That was only the brief highlight in a real unremarkable episode in which the fans still had to wait to see who attacked Cain a few weeks back but with matter not resolved until the new year instead we were left with dull scenes where nothing much really happened and by now because of the boredom I started to get drunk a lot more and this got even worse thanks to the visit over on the cobbles where fire and accusations were all go….

Coronation Street was more lively than Emmerdale what with a fire and an affair, it was not ground breaking stuff but it had me more entertained even though it was again a year where The Street did not bother to go with a big storyline to make the fans tune in!   We had Peter and Carla continue their affair unaware that a suspicious Stella is beginning to put the clues together.  Chesney and Katy bring their new baby home which had me hoping that they have not just watched Emmerdale and get the idea to drown the little blighter and of course we had scenes of families trying to enjoy the day for what it is.  Not so much joy though for Becky and the ongoing saga of Steve and Tracey which must be boring every fan out there.  Now being falsely accused of killing Tracey’s unborn twins (feck me what is it with this dead baby lark), Becky decides to get drunk and set fire to old photos of when her and Steve were happy.  Everyone knows that Fire and booze is not the best mix and soon the whole flat was on fire with Becky passed out on the sofa from either the drink or the fact she is watching the Strictly Come Dancing special on BBC 1.  “There is a fire!” were the screams….”Oh no Becky is inside!”…..was the other……..will she survive?  Of course she does, simply because she is not due to leave for another few weeks yet!…….
Back to the BBC and with the highlight of Doctor Who still glowing inside, that feeling was soon vanished in a completely awful visit to Walford…..

Where a “huge let down” scream could be heard from nearly every fan everywhere!  The “Who is Stalking Phil!” storyline was finally resolved in one of the worst moments in the soaps’ history that had me shaking my head in disbelief.  Now you ask any fan who they thought it was and they would have said Ben the gay son of Phil.  Reason being that it was to friggin obvious.  But!!!!! Because it was just too feckin obvious we hoped that the writers would throw up a surprise and actually show some intelligence but of course all this was out of the window when Shirley twigged and Ben confessed because “his dad is a bad man!”.  So if you are a confused young man that just realised he is gay, then your first instinct will be to want your Dad to serve 25 years in Prison for murder.  Come on!!!!!!!  But this is what we are expected to believe especially now that Denise has been handed the evidence that proves Phil was responsible for the murder of her husband Kevin.
Just when you thought it could not get any worse, this year we were told that the great family of Zainab’s would be the centre of attention and the storyline of the the crazed Doctor’s obsessed vengeance on the family will reach its stunning conclusion.  Sadly though the illogical daft plot was an insult to anyone with even an inch of a brain because we had to witness scenes that had me banging my head and wishing that they done a “drowned baby” storyline.
Finally the Zainab we all know and love snapped out of this awful new weak character we have seen recently and stood up to Yusef.  With her kidnapped son back in the arms of Masood, Zainab showed her metal and the horrible Yusef broke down in tears.  Now this was the bit that had me angry.  Having been trapped in the house and finally getting out, what does the stupid bitch do?  Invite the very man she tried to escape from back into the house and even gets him to MAKE HER A CUP OF TEA!….COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trapped and drugged again, she was rescued by Masood who finally punched his nemesis and the family was reunited again even though Masood was only a week ago sticking his meat and two veg into Jane who actually took all this quite well but then I bet she was glad to be out of this madness.  It was all very depressing and typical Walford but we were promised explosions and we are sure to get it with the final scene of Masood catching Yusef all set to blow up the house where everyone is downstairs partying…maybe Boxing Day will make for this silly downright mess which was the worst Christmas epsiode of Eastenders for years….
With the deeply missed Royal Family missing from the comedy schedule, for any fan in need of a laugh and by damn you needed it after the soap’s, it was a return to the schedules for old 90’s fav Ab Fab which had me laughing more than I expected.  There was a wonderful visual gag which saw Edina go to a prison to pick up an old friend which everyone must have thought it w
as Patsy but it turned out to be Saffy, her always good and well behavioured daughter.
After my surprise of laughing at a neat gag we then saw Bubbles give her version of the Royal Wedding which again had me giggling and then of course the arrival of the brilliant Patsy and once again Joanna Lumley stole the entire show with a great comedy performance.  Her “drugs from her hairpiece” was again a visual delight and her answering a wallet thinking it was a phone was also priceless.
Hats off as well to a great cameo in which we saw Edina talking to what she thought was Danish to The Killing’s Sofie Gråbøl.  It was not quite Absolutely Fabulous but after suffering from the dire trip to Walford it was just the trick I needed….
Now on to Boxing Day with a plate of cold Turkey sandwiches and the rest of the lager!…….
See you tomorrow……
About Ross Hughes 1915 Articles
Since my mother sat me down at the age of five years of age and watched a little called Halloween, I have been hooked on horror. There is no other genre that gets me excited and takes me to the edge of entertainment. I watch everything from old, new, to cheap and blockbusters, but I promise all my readers that I will always give an honest opinion, and I hope whoever reads this review section, will find a film that they too can love as much as I do! Have fun reading, and please DO HAVE NIGHTMARES!!!!!!

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