ITS BACK…TO TAKE THE PISS……
Its Saturday night which means……………………drumroll please!
And I start with the brand new offering from the BBC where they claim they will find “The Voice” and that its nothing like The X Factor, which is all well and good saying it but then we meet the first “contender” and we get a sob story. The girl from Belfast who sits in her bedroom playing her guitar believes that when she hears raindrops fall against her window that its the sound of people clapping to her music. I do not know about you love but from where I come from those things you hear is actually rain……..
Anyhow the second contender comes on and guess what? Yes its another sob story and by now I was losing the will to live. “I lost my hair” she cried, so was I, pulling it out out due this quite stupid show. The real eye opener was the guy on the keyboard who claimed he has had over 1 million hits on youtube. Someone should tell him that many of those are mistaken because when people type in “Dick”, they are actually looking for porn and not some idiot who looks an 80’s wedding singer. Had to feel sorry for the guy from the best boy band ever to grace our shores…..yes remember 5ive…..anyone? hello?……anyway he thought he could go solo but not one of the judges turned their chairs and he wondered what he could be doing this time next year……..I hear there are loads of vacancies in the Job Centre mate…..
Anyway for the former 5ive I have changed the lyrics to 5ive’s most famous hit….
I woke up today with this feeling.
Better things are coming my way.
I know the Voice has a meaning,
And nothing left can get in my way When the rainy days are tapping
That stupid bitch thinks that people are clapping
All these sob stories makes want to do some slappingAhhhh…
What kind of talent is The Voice bringing
There is a dick on a piano singing…
Get on The Voice
When you’re down,
Take a good look around.
I made a mistake
But it’s okay.
There is still The X Factor anyway….
The whole concept is for four judges to have their backs towards the camera and not see what is in front of them. When they like what they see, they press a buzzer and spin around and then its up to the contender to see which judge they want them to mentor. In the chairs are legends of music. Mr Sir Tom Jones who actually can call himself “The Voice”, Jessie J who can share all her experience to these wannabee’s because she has been around for like 5 minutes. We have William……(Bat…”Hughes its Will. I AM….), no its feckin William, and some other guy who I have no idea who he is….which I guess many other’s don’t either.
So basically this was X Factor meets Dragon’s Den which is quite fitting because Jessie J does look like her…..
The Dragon from the Den….
The question I have to ask is if this is nothing like X Factor then how once the judges have chosen to go through to the finals does the concept differ. I mean they can’t keep their chairs turned away from them when they now know who they are…….. A lack of Adverts meant that this was a long repetitive show which did actually make me pine for the quite simple
Britain’s Got Talent where talking about lookalikes, guess who turned up on the show…..yes its Hurley from LOST!
So he escaped the Island afterwards……..wow…….
The Voice fails because its not fun, does not have the dreaded Buzzers and also suffers from the lack of a certain Simon Cowell. Lets be honest, BGT is fun because many of the “talent” are just total totally bonkers and that is why people watch and while sometimes there are diamonds like Hurley above, its the fools who think that they are talented is the reason why we tune in. As for Hurley, clever editing by ITV made us think that this guy was going to be crap and they tried to build it up to be a Suebo moment. Sadly it was too bleeding obvious even though the guy was good but he needs to lose a few pounds and by that I do not mean his weight but the girl he sang with who is destined to be dropped anytime soon….
Any readers wondering where my review’s are for this?
Well its simple, the TV Show has become the first show on HCF to be given this symbol…..
Sorry if there are any fans out there, I will do a full reason why soon, but for me I could not stomach another episode. I may revisit it one day and hopefully can apologise but from what I have seen so far, its just does not do anything for me and is not in the same class with the likes of Buffy and Supernatural.
Where poor Heather Trott met her maker, killed by the bastard ballet dancer called Ben. “Extinct!” cried best friend Shirley when the police said the word…”Extinct!” she overacted again….”Extinct!”……which confused me the third time because was she talking about her dead friend or the entire state of the show and where its heading? EE is feckin awful at the moment, a show losing viewers rapidly due to the state of the storylines.
We have Roxy flirting with Max which would never have happened but now looks like she is heading towards the direction of Alfie…..as if!……..We have Ian all set to marry Mandy….again as if!……We also have the hopeless set of characters that offer nothing to the show….yes I am talking about the new set of Moon Brothers who make you pine for the original duo of Jake and Danny….
Things are not doing much better at Corrie, where Cheryl Cole twitted that she should be Miss Marple due to the fact that she guessed the killer of Frank way before the reveal. I would say that she was a clever girl but the fact I think everyone guessed who it was even before the evil rapist met his maker showed how boring this storyline was.
The worst thing to happen in Corrie in recent years was the arrival of Richard Hillman because since then, the writers have tried their best to recreate that brilliant storyline. Think how many deaths there have been seen he took a swim in that lake. When I was a kid my memory of a bad guy in Weatherfield was Alan Bradley, a simple crook who tormented the lovely Rita. His demise in Blackpool was a must watch and classic episode but can you imagine if he was introduced to the soap world now instead of the 80’s. He would have killed and raped many of the residents before he got hit by that Tram and I doubt that there would be over 27m viewers now like there was back then.
Yes writers, Richard was great but its time to move away from the land of bloodbath because lets face it….less is more!
Was going to sit down and watch this original new ITV Drama which intrigued me but then the bastards give the game away thanks to the trailer that shows the ship hitting an iceberg and sinking…..what is the point in watching it now…..
Talking about Titanic…
As it really been 15 years since the release of that film with that song……anyhow, its been released in 3D and I am tempting to see it just for one moment which I hope will come to me really close to my face…….Hmmmmm I wonder what it could be?
Until Next time guys!